3 Conversations My Multi-Racial Family Is Having About #NoBanNoWall.

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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This past week my children came home from school repeating political rhetoric they no doubt heard from classmates at school. Instead of counter with our opinion, we chose to have a conversation about it.

I can’t scroll through my Facebook feed without seeing it. Trump is refusing access to Syrian refugees. Trump wants to build a wall on the boarder of the United States and Mexico. Trump wants to use tax-payer’s money to do so. Trump is misunderstood. Trump is the anti-Christ. Give Trump a chance. Here’s what Trump’s executive order really means. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah….and blah! I just want to see what people are up to on Facebook! Is that too much to ask?

Truth is, I can ignore it all. Trust me. I’m really good at ignoring stuff I don’t want to listen to, or discuss. I rarely watch TV news, and I don’t care who won what reality TV show contest or gave what rose to what girl. But since my kids, who live in our multi-racial family, go to school outside of the home, they’re hearing all of the refugee ban and wall talk too. Not on Facebook, not on their USA Today app….from classmates. Elementary-age classmates who no doubt heard it from their parents.

Let me be clear- I do care about the ban, the wall, and Trump’s election. In fact, I have some very strong opinions on all of it. But, I’m not going to share them in this post. My opinions are not the point. Nor are they the point when my children come home spouting rhetoric they heard from their classmates, who heard it from their parents, who spend way too much time watching cable news and believing everything they say. The point is what I can teach my children in the middle of all of this. And that’s precisely what we’re doing. We’ve decided to put our personal political opinions (even though we have them), aside and have 3 critical conversations with our children…

  1. A Conversation About Equality. The most important thing we want our children to learn through this recent election, last year’s police shootings, the recent Women’s March, and #NoBanNoWall is that every single human being, whether they are black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Syrian, Iranian, Iraqi, Haitian, German, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, female or male, gay or straight, religious or not, is equal. E-Q-U-A-L. There is no lesser than, or greater than…there’s just equal. If we, as adults and parents, represent this truth to the best of our ability to our children, they will see the truth in everything being said and done in our country, and the world, right now. One more thing we’re teaching them- when you fear someone or something without reason, or just because you were told to, you are behaving unequally.
  2. A Conversation About American History. We live in the land of the free, and the home of the brave. This is a country that was built on the backs of hard-working, honest immigrants who came to our soil looking for the opportunity they, and every other human being on planet earth, deserves. Our forefathers designed a nation where tired, poor, hungry, abused, homeless, and fearful could find solace. This is what makes our land great. This what makes America beautiful. This is the dream our forefathers had for this great land. Not that we insulate ourselves, but that we throw open the gates to help those who are oppressed and mistreated around the world. I want my children to have this perspective toward the human race. I want them to have hearts that help, and spirits that propel them toward those in desperate need.
  3. A Conversation About Biblical Principles. Our family holds true to the teachings of Jesus in the book of Matthew, Chapter 25- “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons. For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’ “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’ “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’ “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.” (Matthew 25:37-46, NLT)I don’t ever, ever, ever want to find myself on the wrong side of the Lord’s judgement because I turned someone away who was in need…who had less than I had…who needed help, or longed for hope. This is a truth we will live and die on. The truth is, some of our children could have been homeless, or left for dead, or alone and cold on the streets. They could have found themselves oppressed, unfairly judged, or mistreated. They could have been the least of these that Jesus describes. But they weren’t. And because of this, we are raising them to see the world without boundary, without division, and without walls. We are raising them to care deeply for the least of these.

So, no, we’re not filling their heads with our opinions, or political rhetoric. We’re teaching them equality, what true American values are, and the words of Jesus Himself. We’re teaching them to extend the same freedom they’ve been given. After all, there is no greater privilege.

What conversations are you having with your children? Share with us in the comment section of this post.

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.