Dear Broken Parent: It’s Not Your Fault!

It’s really, really hard to not take your child’s behavior personally. In fact, it’s downright impossible at times. But I promise…it’s not your fault. Here’s why:

Sad young mother (age 30) with her crying daughter in background.

I confess. I used to be really, really mad at my kid. Scratch that: enraged. I was enraged. Every time he acted out, destroyed something in my home, terrorized one of my other kids, hurt my wife, wound up in the principal’s office, did something to the neighbor kid, I saw red. My blood boiled. I would react to him out of anger. I said so many things I regret. I did things I wish I could go back in time and undo.

We are excited to announce that Kristin will be the keynote speaker at Rejuvenate Retreat- Midwest this April 6-8, 2018. Rejuvenate is the premier retreat for foster and adoptive moms. For more information, click here.

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Date: April 6, 2018—April 8, 2018
Event: Rejuvenate Retreat- Midwest
Location: Williams Bay, Wisconsin
Public: Public
Registration: Click here to register.
More Info: Click here for more information.

What Do You Do When Your Child Fares Better In A Residential Facility?

Placing your child in residential treatment is a bridge no parent wants to cross. But what happens when you realize he or she is doing better there than they did in your house? It happens often. What do you do? How do you respond? Here are some thoughts…

Prayer

It’s a warm sunny afternoon on a Saturday in early September when we load our kids up in our super-used Chevy Suburban to make the hour and half trek across our state to visit our kid in residential treatment. This is not our first rodeo with this scenario. We’ve been here before. It never gets easier. Sure, it becomes routine…after some time, but never easier. On this particular afternoon we’re confined to campus due to bad behavior in the days prior.

How To Find Freedom In-Spite Of A Devastating Past

#TBT to Season 1, Episode 4- The Honestly Speaking Podcast

As we’ve mentioned for the past several weeks, leading up to our re-launch of the podcast (WHICH IS THIS COMING WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20TH… can you tell we’re excited?) with the new name of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we’re sharing some of our favorite past episodes as a special #TBT! You can now visit the brand new landing page for Honestly Adoption (and subscribe directly to podcast updates) by clicking here.

We hear it all the time in the news- child grows up witnessing domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse, is abused themself, lands in foster care, and goes on to repeat the cycle. On today’s podcast we share the story of a woman who faced all of this but has broken the cycle and beat the odds!

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The house she was sleeping in was engulfed in flames. If it weren’t for the heroics of a neighbor boy, Nikka Palmer would have been dead. That night she actually wished she would have died. The painful reality of her life was too much to take- watching her biological parents abuse drugs and alcohol, living through domestic violence, even facing abuse herself at the hands of someone she should have been able to trust.

What An Adoptee Wants You To Know About Open Adoption.

#TBT to Season 2, Episode 19- The Honestly Speaking Podcast

As we mentioned for the past several weeks, leading up to our re-launch of the podcast (with the brand new name of The Honestly Adoption Podcast) we’re sharing some of our favorite past episodes as a special #TBT! You can now visit the brand new landing page for Honestly Adoption (and subscribe directly to podcast updates) by clicking here.

When we adopted our first daughter, Jaala, her birth mother chose a closed adoption. We also know many adoptive families who have chosen this route. In today’s interview, Jaala shares her perspective on closed adoptions.

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We understand why birth families and adoptive families choose a closed adoption. For Jaala, her birth mother wanted her to have the best life possible. We are eternally grateful to her for making this amazing decision. But over the past decade of our adoption journey, we have formed great relationships with several of our other children’s birth families and the benefits are many.

Should I Talk About My Child’s Traumatic Past With Them?

Some see it as a taboo topic. Other’s share freely with detail. Still, there’s a debate over whether or not you should talk about your child’s traumatic past, or their current diagnosis, with them, or in front of them. Here’s where we land…

Mother with son

It was a normal summer night a few weeks ago when we sat down to dinner as a family. Actually, I should say, we FINALLY sat down to dinner as a family. Let’s just say, the summer was long, and we were running in at least 5 different directions every day since the end of the previous school year. As much as we filled our minds, and calendars, with lofty ideas of how the summer would play out, it all became delusions of grandeur.

Can You Really Find Rest On The Weary Road Of Parenting?

#TBT, Season 1, Episode 1- The Honestly Speaking Parenting Podcast

As we mentioned last Thursday, for the next 4 weeks, leading up to our re-launch of the podcast (with the brand new name of The Honestly Adoption Podcast) we’re sharing some of our favorite past episodes as a special #tbt! Also- you can now visit the brand new landing page for Honestly Adoption by clicking here.

Welcome to the very first season, and the very first episode of our parenting podcast, Honestly Speaking. This has been a long time in the making and we are finally launching. You can’t begin to imagine how excited we are. Our hope is that this, along with our regular content, enriches your life immensely!

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We’re starting off with a big question- “Can you really find rest on the weary road of parenting?” If you’re an adoptive, foster or special needs parent, this is an especially big question. Really, it’s one that every parent, in any walk of life, has pondered a time or two.

How To Love A Child Who Won’t Love You Back.

#TBT- Season 2, Episode 14- The Honestly Speaking Parenting Podcast

For the next 4 weeks, leading up to our re-launch of the podcast (with the brand new name of The Honestly Adoption Podcast) we’re sharing some of our favorite past episodes as a #tbt!

It’s a question we receive several times a week from people all over the country. “How do I love a child who keeps pushing me away, and could care less about me or my family?” We, along with our co-host Nicole Goerges, are right in the middle of this trench.

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That first real hug. Hearing “I love you mom,” and knowing she means it. Watching him participate peacefully with the rest of the family. Having her not melt down when dad puts a gentle hand on her shoulder. These are all things that most parents are accustomed to on a daily basis with their children. They’re normal, everyday, functioning activities. But when your child has come from a traumatic past, bounced from home to home through foster care before coming to yours, or been adopted out of an abusive experience, these are moments you cherish more than gold.