How To Find Freedom In-Spite Of A Devastating Past

#TBT to Season 1, Episode 4- The Honestly Speaking Podcast

As we’ve mentioned for the past several weeks, leading up to our re-launch of the podcast (WHICH IS THIS COMING WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20TH… can you tell we’re excited?) with the new name of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we’re sharing some of our favorite past episodes as a special #TBT! You can now visit the brand new landing page for Honestly Adoption (and subscribe directly to podcast updates) by clicking here.

We hear it all the time in the news- child grows up witnessing domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse, is abused themself, lands in foster care, and goes on to repeat the cycle. On today’s podcast we share the story of a woman who faced all of this but has broken the cycle and beat the odds!

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The house she was sleeping in was engulfed in flames. If it weren’t for the heroics of a neighbor boy, Nikka Palmer would have been dead. That night she actually wished she would have died. The painful reality of her life was too much to take- watching her biological parents abuse drugs and alcohol, living through domestic violence, even facing abuse herself at the hands of someone she should have been able to trust.

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Can You Really Find Rest On The Weary Road Of Parenting?

#TBT, Season 1, Episode 1- The Honestly Speaking Parenting Podcast

As we mentioned last Thursday, for the next 4 weeks, leading up to our re-launch of the podcast (with the brand new name of The Honestly Adoption Podcast) we’re sharing some of our favorite past episodes as a special #tbt! Also- you can now visit the brand new landing page for Honestly Adoption by clicking here.

Welcome to the very first season, and the very first episode of our parenting podcast, Honestly Speaking. This has been a long time in the making and we are finally launching. You can’t begin to imagine how excited we are. Our hope is that this, along with our regular content, enriches your life immensely!

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We’re starting off with a big question- “Can you really find rest on the weary road of parenting?” If you’re an adoptive, foster or special needs parent, this is an especially big question. Really, it’s one that every parent, in any walk of life, has pondered a time or two.

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My Child With FASD Is A Warrior!

The world often looks at a child like mine, who suffers from fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD), as a hopeless case. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. He is a warrior. And he is overcoming this disorder every single day!

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My son sat slumped next to the front door in a defeated posture. 
“What’s wrong kiddo?” I said. “We’re going to church and you won’t tie my shoe for me!” he shouted back. I jumped, surprised at his response. He hadn’t asked for help. To my knowledge, he hadn’t even been sitting there that long. I crouched down next to him. I almost yelled but remembered quickly that my son’s brain doesn’t work like other children, he has FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) and his frustration level goes from 0-60 without warning. I took a breath again and asked if I could show him how to do it with one shoe and he could do it with the other shoe. “No!” he shouted again. I stood up and calmly reminded him that shouting hurts my feelings, I would be happy to help when he was ready.

How Do You Process Your Child’s Trauma?

We spend so much of this journey fighting for our children, and helping them fight through the trauma they’ve endured, that we rarely take time to process it ourselves. That’s why a simple question, recently asked of me, has me thinking…

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This past weekend we attended a discussion group in a small coffee house in a neighboring town to ours. The topics ranged from pain, to overcoming grief, to God, to suffering in the world, to personal struggles. And then the facilitator asked us a question that we’ve rarely been asked over our 15-year adoptive journey: “How do YOU process and work through your child’s trauma?”

The Stuff I Learned From My Traumatic Past.

Season 6, Episode 57- The Honestly Speaking Podcast

“Your past may explain you, but it doesn’t define you.” This last installment of our summer series, “The Stuff I Learned,” is an honest story of one family’s struggle through the dark, hard places of trauma and despair, to the places (and person) of Hope.

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Don’t miss out on this amazing interview with adoptee, Sandeep Thomas, and his two special guests (you’ll have to listen to find out who!), as they share how they have found, and continue to find, hope, joy, and gratitude on the sometimes difficult journey of adoption.

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Why ‘Community’ Must Come Before ‘Education’ On The Adoptive Journey.

Everyone of us on the adoptive journey has gone through training, seminars, and events to educate us on everything from trauma, to attachment, to crisis intervention. But education pales in comparison to our connection to others. Here’s why:

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I was talking to a close friend the other day when he said something that resonated deeply with me (and spawned an entire blog post :-)). He said, “The United States is one of the most educated countries around. We have trillions of articles at the touch of a button. Yet people still languish and wallow in despair and defeat. Not for lack of information, but rather lack of community and connection.”

The Stuff I Learned About Taking Care Of Myself.

Season 6, Episode 55- The Honestly Speaking Parenting Podcast

Self-care for adoptive and foster parents.  We’ve all heard about it.  We have a feeling it might be important, but, honestly, who has time?

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The truth is, parental self-care is a foundational part of being able to care for our children well.  While we may feel like this is one thing we just can’t get around to, it is actually the one thing that can get everything else moving in a positive direction.  Listen in as Mike interviews Carrie Blake, former foster parent, adoptive parent, mama of 7, whose journey towards self-care will inspire and motivate even the most “self-care challenged” among us.

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How Can You Love A Child Who’s Not Biologically Yours?

It’s a still a question we receive from time to time, from non-adoptive and pre-adoptive parents alike. How can you love a child who’s not biologically yours? We understand where this comes from, but we’ve come to a straight up conclusion.

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We just….do. Honestly, I’m sitting here typing, early in the morning, with the grandiose idea of busting out some clever rhetoric to reinforce the point of this post but I’m at a loss. I can’t explain it any other way than to say, we do. Blood, biology, DNA, and all the other fixins’ have nothing to do with it.