Is A Special Needs Adoptee Incapable Of Success?

This is a guest post by Angela Tucker. She is a nationally-recognized thought leader on transracial adoption and is an advocate for adoptee rights. She was recently named ‘Seattle’s Smartest Global Women.’ In 2013, at the age of 26, Angela’s own story of adoption and search for her birth parents was featured in the groundbreaking documentary, CLOSURE, which is available on Netflix, iTunes & Kweli TV. Read her blog here, and connect with her on Facebook here.

Do special needs adoptees have worth? You bet they do! While we understand the reasoning behind adoption questionnaires and preferences for an adopting couple, we also know they place unfair labels on precious children. Children who have very bright futures ahead of them.

Concept of a man follows the right way

Even though I’m hearing impaired, I am a healthy adult. Even though this wasn’t learned until my late childhood, I was a healthy child.

She didn’t always eat healthy while I grew in her belly. There were no prenatal visits or vitamins. Still I am fine and I’m healthy.

“The Stuff I Learned About Loss And New Beginnings.”

Season 6, Episode 49- The Honestly Speaking Podcast

So much of the adoption journey is surrounded by trauma, loss, and grief.  Many times friends, family, or church members will say things that seem to make it even worse.  Is loss and trauma really “just a part of God’s plan?”  Is getting over grief simply a matter of “trusting God more?”

Podcast Art- Episode 49.001

Listen in to Natalie’s encouraging story as she and her husband listened and learned about finding wholeness and joy through some hard years of infertility, miscarriage, loss, and grief, as well as adoption, virtual twining, and special needs parenting.

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Why “I’d Get Too Attached To Be A Foster Parent” Just Doesn’t Cut It!

*Editor’s Note- This is a guest post from our good friend Rachel Lewis. She is a foster mom, biological mom and adoptive mom. She started her fostering journey before enduring recurrent loss and infertility, and shares transparently about her journey to creating a family on her blog The Lewis Note. Connect with Rachel on Facebook and Instagram.

There’s often an inclination, when a person enters the foster care journey, to not allow themselves to get attached to the children they’re caring for. They call it a safeguard for when they have to say goodbye. But, this defies the human wiring we have to love, and really doesn’t cut it. Here’s why…

mother holding child's hand, black and white image.

“I can never be a foster parent. I’d get too attached.”

If I had a dollar for every time I heard this. In fact, I hear it almost every single time me being a foster parent comes up. So, I want to clarify a few things…

7 Things You Should Never Say To Foster Or Adoptive Dads On Father’s Day.

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day. While most of the comments we foster and adoptive dads receive are cordial, and respectful, there are always a handful that are not. Here’s a little insight into things you shouldn’t say to foster and adoptive dads on this special day (written, of course, for you to “share” with the people in your life who really don’t get it!)

Man performing stop gesture with hand

My brother-in-law’s heart probably drained from his chest like melted wax. Had his breath not been taken away by the off-handed comment, he would have found the words to speak, I’m sure. It was his first Father’s Day when someone in his church crushed his spirit and left him bewildered. “Happy Father’s Day. I mean, you’re like a pseudo-father right? So, Happy pseudo-Father’s Day!” the person uttered. If someone would have walked around the corner and dumped cold water over my brother-in-law’s head, he would have been less shocked.

How To Safeguard Your Marriage While Raising Children With Special Needs.

Often, when you’re in the trenches of parenting children with major special needs, the most important relationship you have begins to suffer. How do you keep your marriage healthy in the midst of very difficult circumstances with your children?

Interracial couple holding hands at wedding

I met my husband 20 years ago this winter. I saw him across the lobby of the student center at our college campus. I hoped he would notice me and when he did I shook his hand and smiled the warmest smile I could muster on that cold January evening. He asked me out a few weeks later and I was excited to get to know him. From that moment on, we enjoyed spending as much time together as possible. We studied at the library, took walks around campus, visited the art museum where admission was free. We didn’t need to do anything fancy. Time together was all we wanted.

How Do You Get Through To A Child Who Doesn’t Think Logically?

We used to think that carrying a piece of drywall around with us so we could bang our head into it every time we had to re-explain something to our kid, or try to reason with him, was the ticket. And then, we discovered a better way to connect.

woman slapping hand on head to say duh made mistake

A friend and I were recently talking about our kids when he said something I totally identified with- “Mike, he just doesn’t think. It’s like there’s no ability to think logically. I tell him to not do something and he does it anyway, even though he knows he’ll be in trouble!” I nodded and repeatedly said, “Yep, I know. Right there with you.” If I had a dollar for every time I was in this position…..retirement come early!

5 True Confessions From The Adoption Journey.

Smack dab in the title of this blog is the word Confession. So, obviously we’re true to that by sharing honest and raw stories from this journey. But, we’ve also discovered a few other realities that I must confess here and now:

Empty Chair in an Interrogation Room

I couldn’t have scripted this any better. As I stand and peer back over the last 18 years (Kristin and I will celebrate 18 years of marriage in 2 months), I’m amazed by our journey. No, scratch that…I’m BEYOND amazed. I’m overwhelmed. Is there another word for overwhelmed that’s more powerful? If so, send it to me, or leave it in the comments below. I’m finding that words really don’t do any of this justice. So, I’ll stick to overwhelmed for now.

4 Ways To Partner With Your Child’s School Over Summer Break.

Believe it or not, summer is the perfect time to start planning for a new school year. A few weeks ago we shared a podcast episode entitled How To Form Healthy Partnerships With Your Child’s School. As a follow up, we wanted to share additional steps you can take now, to form a solid connection with your child’s school before the new school year begins.

Seven business people holding white cards with letters to assemb

It’s almost summer here in Indiana! My kids are planning trips to the pool, playdates and sleepovers. I’m tempted to get caught up in all the summer fun daydreams. But before I can break out the flip flops, I remember I’ve got to start planning for the next school year. I’m the mom of a few children with special needs. School can be stressful for our family, summer is a wonderful time for us to reconnect, build our relationship and just plain relax. It’s also a time to get prepared for the inevitable start to the new school year.