Sometimes you feel that you owe the world an explanation. You don’t! You feel your child’s choices, behavior, or lack of social interaction, warrant a full-blown summary. They don’t. Here’s why…
I’m going to do my best to give you, foster and adoptive parent who feels isolated, a voice right now. You who’ve grown tired of fielding question after question after question about your child’s special need, recent public outburst, suspension, arrest or social shortcomings. I’m going to do everything in my power to walk in your shoes and let you know you are not alone. I want you to know, as we begin, that your family’s business is nobody else’s business on the face of God’s green earth!
We’re proud of our big family. We’re equally as proud of our big 12-passenger van. It’s helped us cart our beautiful family all over the U.S. But recently, something interesting happened…
This is NOT our van. This is what our van SHOULD look like.
A few weeks ago I went into a local coffee shop, grabbed a cup of Jo and returned to my van. I unlocked the door and climbed into the driver’s seat. I wrinkled my nose at the smell of stale smoke. It was not the smell of a fresh cigarette; it was the leftover lingering stench of a chain smoker’s clothes. A chill ran through me and I placed my bag on the floor and my coffee in the cup holder. I climbed across all the rows of seats to the very back to make sure there wasn’t a person connected to that odor. No one was there. I climbed back to the front and looked all around the parking lot.
In October 2011, Kristin and I found out we were pregnant. Since we were adoptive parents already, this came as a bit of a surprise to us. We had never been down this parenting road before. However, we lost the baby the very next month. It was painful and confusing. I wrote the following words in the days that loomed after our miscarriage.
I walk out of a crowded Apple store and unwrap the plastic from my new iPhone earbuds. I’ve been needing a new pair. The original had lost their kick. Between working out and the drives to and from my office, the time had come for new ones. It had been over a year. 15 months to be exact. That’s probably 50 years in Apple years.
As foster and adoptive parents, we’ve overheard all kinds of awful things spoken about our children, even to our children. Recently, I heard something that caused my blood to boil, and my heart to break…
As I type these words, I go back in my mind to the moment you said those horrible words- “Well, if he has brain damage, he should be in an institution.” I’m sitting here trying to convince myself that you didn’t mean them…that your words were misheard by me…that you don’t really feel that way. But, I’m not sure if that’s the case.
It’s Father’s Day weekend, 2016, and we thought we’d bring a smile to your face by sharing this hilarious video from The Holderness Family (one of our favorite families in the world)…
We don’t know about you, but we’re laughing because this video is freakishly spot on to the life of a dad. Men, have a fun and safe Father’s Day weekend, and be cautious when lighting your grills….or your farts!
It’s another snow day and the pressure is on! How do you measure up to the mom who has an array of Pinterest-worthy weapons in her arsenal for such a day as this?
You know how it goes; the phone rings at 5am followed by a text and an email. All three relentlessly waking you up to inform you of the dreaded snow day. It didn’t used to be like this. You reminisce for a moment. As a kid, the snow day was the most coveted day of the year. Today, however, you are the mom in the scenario. Shake off the lazy day memory and get yourself out of bed!
As our family reflects on this year’s Thanksgiving holiday, we have so much to be thankful. Through the ups and downs of this past year, we stand amazed at the unexpected blessings we’ve received.
Give thanks in all circumstances.
I was up early a few mornings ago reading when these words flashed across the page. I thought for a moment about the ‘circumstances’ our family has faced in the past year. And then I gave thanks. Because that’s what you need to do. It’s the only way to make it through adversity. Be grateful. Give thanks in all circumstances.
As parents it’s easy, in our fast-paced lives, to overlook a critical reality- our children are watching us, listening to us, and emulating us. Our words and our actions matter more than we think.
You might be wondering why so many of my posts start out with a phone call from the principal. I’ve been wondering that lately too. Is that dreaded phone call something every parent fears or is it just big families, adoptive families, special needs families? Maybe I’m more sensitive because of the items listed. I have a suspicion though, that I’m not the only mom who is afraid of being exposed at the principal’s office.