How To Raise A Multi-Racial Family In A Not-So-Multi-Racial World.

Season 5, Episode 46- The Honestly Speaking Podcast

A vast majority of foster and adoptive families are multi-racial. But, in this day and age, our culture still has many divides when it comes to race. How do you raise a multi-racial family in the middle of it?

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In 2002 we were thrust into parenthood, seemingly overnight. We knew our daughter was on the way, we just didn’t know when. Then suddenly, poof…she was here. While we didn’t receive massively offensive comments for being two white people, in white suburbia, with a black daughter, we did have well-meaning people say things that were not-so-well-meaning (at least it seemed this way). We feared the future. We questioned, “How can we raise our baby in a world that is so misunderstanding and divided?”

We know there are many adoptive families who wonder the same thing. That’s why we’re taking an entire podcast episode to discuss this very question…

Listen To The Episode.


Question: Are you a multi-racial family? What have you struggled with in successfully raising your children and helping them navigate a divided world? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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  • Tracey Hastie

    We are a multi-racial family. We adopted while living in Bolivia so we stood out as the only white family for many kilometres. We adopted two little Bolivian girls from babies. We were fully immersed in the community and had no white friends. I remember when some white friends visited our 3 year olds stared at them and said they looked like mummy and daddy, but it wasn’t until they were 5 that they asked what colour to draw our skin in a picture.

    In Bolivia, the majority of people would make the comments of how ‘wonderful we were for taking orphans into our home’ and ‘how lucky the girls were’. Occassionally we were asked if they were really our children – once we overheard a conversation considering whether one of us had strayed and the other had accepted the resulting offspring. When they were little it didn’t bother us too much.

    On two occassions, I was treated rudely – once by a policewoman who refused to allow me through airport security even with paperwork as I may have been child-trafficking, and the other time a bus driver threatened to drive to the police station because my daughter was having a tantrum and he considered I must be hurting her.

    Since moving to NZ, I have been asked if they are my grandchildren (and I am not that old) or looked at from time to time. Mainly people think they have the right to ask what our story is as the girls are ‘obviously’ not ours. If I am on my own it is considered that I must be married to a dark skinned man. I now have two Samoan foster daughters too (so 4 girls aged 8,9,9,9 all different to us). Our biological children continue to live in Bolivia with our Bolivian son and daughter-in-law and our Bolivian foster daughter – they are adults. Our children take it all for granted.

    As we lived in Bolivia for years, we naturally incorporate a lot of Bolivian and Spanish cultural activities, stories, songs, costumes and celebrations etc into our family life. We live in multi-cultural community and our children attend a school with only 2 white children. I am not accepted by many of the parents but my girls fit in. They learn about lots of culture and we have open conversation regarding different ways of doing things.

    There is racism in our NZ culture but they have yet to experience it (except initially from my husband’s parents). We don’t ignore the questions and we try to mix with many ethnically different friends at church, at work and in most settings. My concern is a potential job change in the near future where we may live in a less racially diverse community. I need to prepare them for what could happen to them soon.

  • Sarah Blevins

    I pray to GOD you never know what it is like to have CPS and the police fraudulently and unconstitutionally storm the sanctuary of your home, rip your children out of your arms, commit perjury to keep them and then attempt to adopt them out because they will make money that way. This blog, as a biological mother whose eyes were opened to the severe corruption of CPS across America tearing apart families with children who are ‘adoptable’ and am begging people like you to open up your eyes to the schemes of the enemy. God created family. The enemy tears a family to shreds and laughs, especially using God’s children to ‘Foster’ and ‘adopt’ these ‘poor’ children. Wake up and get educated! There are children out there truly in need of services, parents that need help, who are not getting it. Instead of condoning the theft of our children, get out there in the community and help these families who really need it! The need for adoption and fostercare is sickening to a point where you people are blinded to the truth of what is going on behind the scenes. Time to get educated about these issues. Stop being enablers to a corrupt govt. The more of you who foster and adopt the more kids they seize.