Is She The Apple Of Your Eye?

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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If there's a tune playing, it's a guarantee that my 12-year old daughter is dancing. Anyone who knows her well, knows how true this is. Although she swayed and stepped without a care, the other day, she made sure to look up every so often to see if I was watching her.

She was supposed to be doing chores. The fact that she was half-finished, with a lot of work left to do, was typical. Telling her once, twice, or even 3 times usually doesn’t do the trick. We always end up snapping at her to get her going, and she always ends up sobbing (her fault of course!).

With my tongue pressed to the roof of my mouth and my lips forming the first syllable of her name, I paused as I sat on the back deck trying to finish a way overdue writing project.

Before I barked her name and demanded that she get back on track, I took in the moment. As she glided across the lawn, drenched in warm afternoon sun, she glanced up every-so-often to see if I was watching her. Fortunately I clued in and kept my eyes fixed on her and each of her movements. I’m so glad I did and resisted the urge to get work done.

The smile that crossed her face each time she saw that I was watching her dance, spoke words louder than any human voice could muster-

“Do you see me?”

“Do you think I’m beautiful?”

“Am I the apple of your eye?”

No earthy force could wipe the smile off my face. From the depths of my heart poured adoration that only a father knows. So I let her get away with skimping on chores for a moment. The Good Lord knows that I’ve blown moments like this way more than I’ve gotten them right. I’ve allowed details, task lists, and work load to clutter up the beauty.

She needs to get her chores done. There’s no question. But I need to take a breath every now and then and soak in the beauty of a moment with my baby girl.

Fathers, I ask this out of a deep heart who has so much growing to do:

“Is your little girl the apple of your eye?” If the answer is “yes” here’s a follow-up question- “Does she know it?”

I can personally answer the first question with confidence. My daughters are the apple of my eye, hands down. The second question stings a little. I’m kinda bad at letting them know this at times. I bet some of you are too.

Our work is never done as fathers. Especially if we have daughters. I’m learning to recognize moments where schedule, or task, or workload need to be paused. I think the driving force behind this, is the realization that someday the music will play but she’ll be grown up and not given to dance anymore.

Father’s, are you learning to stop and take in precious moments like this? Share your experience with us.

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.