On our adoptive and foster parenting journey, we’ve had lots of dark days. Sometimes many more than days of light. The amount of times we’ve felt like giving up and laying down are simply uncountable. But we’ve found unending hope…
“Your son has FASD!”
“This hearing is continued. And we’re reinstating visitations.”
“Hi, I’m your son’s principal. Just wanted you to know that he’s in the office again for punching another student and cussing out the teacher.”
“Ma’am, we caught your daughter stealing again. We have no choice but to press charges.”
Our society prides itself on titles, positions, rankings, and statistics. It’s how we identify pro-atheletes, leaders of major corporations, and our favorite sports teams. Often, it’s how we identify ourselves. But we have learned that, in our family, we are much more than a title.
Ok, Ok I understand our blog is called Confessions of an Adoptive Parent. It’s easy to think that we eat sleep and breathe adoption. Our title is a brand but it isn’t all that we are. Adoption, to us, is more like a surname. A last name is an identifier but it isn’t a person’s sole identity.
As we continue to produce new content for Honestly Adoption, we wanted to share another Encore Podcast episode from Season 2. In this episode we discuss practical insights to parenting children who constantly push you away.
That first real hug. Hearing “I love you mom,” and knowing she means it. Watching him participate peacefully with the rest of your family. Having her not melt down when dad puts a gentle hand on her shoulder to guide her on an afternoon walk through the neighborhood.
Listen to the podcast.
Adoption and foster care can be filled with loneliness, desperation, and defeat. We know you love your kids, but it’s hard when you have to walk through your child’s past trauma with them. Can you really find hope in-spite of this? The answer is, yes. It starts by understanding something powerful and true.
“I don’t think I can take one more day of this,” I said, glaring at the table, with a clinched fist and gritting teeth. My friend agreed. Many colorful words were exchanged between us, that morning, as we sat talking in a restaurant. The steam from our coffee snaked and twisted through the air, disappearing, as if hope was slowly disappearing with it. We shared similar wounds. Both of us had children adopted from foster care and both of us were in very dark and desperate situations. We both loved our kids deeply, but recognized that, out of their trauma, they behaved in certain ways and it caused our exhaustion to abound.
We are excited to share a special Encore Podcast Presentation with you as we prepare brand new episodes for The Honestly Adoption Podcast. Click below to listen to this week’s episode…
Fourteen years ago we began the adoption process for the first time. To say that we had no idea what we were doing is an understatement. We were clueless. We had more questions than answers. In fact, we wrote an entire book about this. It’s easy to get lost in the process. A few years ago, Mike sat down with Julie Craft from The Adoption Support Center in Indianapolis to discuss the process and procedure couples will find in a private adoption agency. Later on we turned that audio into a podcast. In today’s episode we’re sharing an encore presentation of that podcast.
You’ll often hear us say that self-care isn’t selfish, and self-care isn’t hard. In fact, it’s quite simple. Our community manager, Michelle McKinney (who went to college for fitness), and is now on the adoption journey, breaks it down for us…
It’s January. You might be saying, “Ugh.” Or you might be saying, “Praise Jesus!” All depends on what happened the previous year to either give you hope for moving on or angst of the inevitable. For adoptive parents, it’s probably both. We feel hope because our kids are older and maturing. But then there’s the fact that they are older and maturing…bringing bigger, more life-altering consequences. If you’re like me, because of the above struggle, I rarely if ever make the common New Year’s resolutions. Honestly, I don’t have time for that silliness. I only have time to survive is what I usually think.
Mike and Kristin will be the Keynote Speakers at the 2018 Annual Foster Care And Adoption Conference happening May 10-12, 2018.
One of the brand new content pieces we’ve added to Confessions Of An Adoptive Parent is adoptee stories. We believe in telling transformational stories, and that begins with the amazing adoptees we know and love. We’re kicking this off by sharing Christie Cronan’s story on today’s podcast episode.
On this special 75th episode of the Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin are excited to welcome Christie Cronan to the show. Christie is an adoptee, Korean mom, and blogger at RaisingWhasians. We invite you to listen in as she shares about her ongoing journey toward finding identity, and some of the challenges she faced as an adopted person moving into adulthood. Christie also has some great tips for how adoptees and adoptive parents can handle those “interesting” or inappropriate questions that others sometimes ask us and our kids.