How To Help Your Child Process Disappointment During Christmas

The Honestly Adoption Podcast - Season 8, Episode 68

“One of the reasons Christmas is hard is because of our own personal grief and loss issues.”

Coupled with the losses and grief our children may be experiencing, foster and adoptive families can quickly find themselves wondering just how they will survive this season between Halloween and New Year’s Day!

Today we will be kicking off our new podcast series: Holiday Survival Tips and Tricks!  We will spend the next four weeks interviewing amazing therapists about how we can navigate the big emotions and hard moments, with our kids, that tend to rise up during the holiday season. Mike and Kristin are excited to kick off this series with therapist and adoptive dad, Lynn Owens, as they discuss how we can help our children process disappointment and loss.

The Boy We Said Yes To.

The adoption journey can bring about immense blessings that you never saw coming and never expected to experience. But sometimes the blessings come in unexpected ways.

We​ ​woke​ ​up​ ​with​ ​an​ ​anxious​ ​heart.

A​ ​15-year​ ​old​ ​boy​ ​was​ ​aging​ ​out​ ​of​ ​the​ ​system​ ​in​ ​the​ ​coming​ ​months.​ ​Aging​ ​out​ ​means​ ​he would​ ​soon​ ​be​ ​too​ ​old​ ​to​ ​be​ ​adopted.​ ​As​ ​if​ ​a​ ​16-year​ ​old​ ​doesn’t​ ​need​ ​a​ ​family​ ​anymore!​ ​He would​ ​be​ ​on​ ​his​ ​own.​ ​Forever.​ ​Most​ ​likely​ ​to​ ​be​ ​homeless,​ ​partake​ ​in​ ​illegal​ ​activity​ ​to​ ​survive, imprisoned,​ ​be​ ​trafficked​ ​and/or​ ​succumb​ ​to​ ​an​ ​early​ ​death.

How To See Grief As A Gift.

Season 7, Episode 61- The Honestly Adoption Podcast

Loss.  Pain.  Sorrow.  Grief.    These are no strangers to those of us on this adoption and foster care journey.  How do we deal with these losses and all of this pain?  What do we do when our heartache is more than we can bear?  Is it actually possible we could learn to see grief as a gift?

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Join us on this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, as Mike and Kristin interview our good friend, and fellow blogger, Natalie Brenner, and how she learned to see grief as a gift.

The Stuff I Learned Through The Trials Of The Adoption Journey.

We are so blessed to have our friend, Lisa Qualls, from One Thankful Mom, here today to share with us some of the hardest parts of her story.  Hear what she has learned about finding Hope within the grief of losing a child, both as a birth mom and later as an adoptive mom.

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Lisa has a unique and varied perspective as both a birth mom, a mom of many, and adoptive and foster mom.  She has suffered and learned through many years of parenting children from hard places, including having a child in residential care for a season and has also suffered the sudden loss of a child in a tragic accident. Listen in as Lisa shares with real, raw, honesty and offers empathetic understanding for anyone experiencing great suffering.

Why I Stop Myself From Defending My Special-Needs Child.

This is a guest post by our good friend, Courtney Westlake. She is the author of A Different Beautiful. She lives in Illinois with her husband Evan and two children, Connor and Brenna. After Brenna was born with a severe skin disorder, Courtney began chronicling family life and experiences raising a child with physical differences and special needs on her blog. You can also follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

You really want to speak up, because, you’re a mama bear (or papa bear). It’s so hard to let them stand on their own when you’ve spent so much time advocating for them, defending them, and fighting for them. But there’s a time and place to stay quiet and let them stand.

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I wanted to insert myself into the conversation happening a few feet away from me, to explain and to defend, but I held back. I craned my neck a bit, waiting to hear what my children would say to the little girl who had just asked about my daughter’s red, peeling skin.

The Stuff I Learned From Our 16-Year Adoptive Journey.

Season 6, Episode 54- The Honestly Speaking Parenting Podcast

We are mixing it up this week on the Honestly Speaking Podcast, as Mike heads over to the other side of the microphone, where he is interviewed by Sandra Flach, from Justice for Orphans ministry, and he shares what HE and Kristin have learned from their own 16-year adoptive journey.

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Mike and Kristin have 8 children ages 8-31 whom they have adopted over the past 16 years.  They have adopted domestically through both private adoption and foster to adopt.  Mike and Kristin have faced many struggles along the way including learning how to parent children who have FASD and having a child in residential care.  You know and love them already as the founders of Confessions of an Adoptive Parent.  Here’s your chance to hear how the idea for Confessions was birthed, and to find out more about Oasis Community, our monthly membership site!

“The Stuff I Learned About Loss And New Beginnings.”

Season 6, Episode 49- The Honestly Speaking Podcast

So much of the adoption journey is surrounded by trauma, loss, and grief.  Many times friends, family, or church members will say things that seem to make it even worse.  Is loss and trauma really “just a part of God’s plan?”  Is getting over grief simply a matter of “trusting God more?”

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Listen in to Natalie’s encouraging story as she and her husband listened and learned about finding wholeness and joy through some hard years of infertility, miscarriage, loss, and grief, as well as adoption, virtual twining, and special needs parenting.

How Can I Find Hope When My Life Is Collapsing Around Me?

Season 4, Episode 37- The Honestly Speaking Parenting Podcast

Hope. There’s barely another word in the english language that evokes as much emotion as this one. Either you have it, or you don’t. The question is, is there any way to find it when your life is falling apart?

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I used to think that I would find hope AFTER I escaped the difficult life circumstances I found myself in. AFTER my child stopped flipping out. AFTER his disorder and behavior held everyone else prisoner. AFTER my daughter moved past her attachment issues and started bonding in a healthy way with our family. AFTER we moved past the season of making long drives down to a visitation center. I became so fixated on the “some day,” that I failed to see the possibility for hope in the here and now. But I’ve learned that you can find hope in the here and now. You can find it in the middle of the wreckage of life. That’s our topic on today’s episode…