Chances are, you already know this. So do we. But for some reason, we continue to resort to shaming, thinking we’ll see different results. We won’t. More importantly, we’re causing deeper damage when we do so.
I get it. I fully understand how we can promise not to anymore, only to slip back into it when our kiddo blows it, and doesn’t seem to care or show emotion. Can I just put your mind at ease with that? I personally struggle with this too. You’re not alone. If nothing else, let the “Me too” of what I just said wash over you like warm water. Considering the fact that you and I are often pushed to the absolute edge (or beyond) by our children’s disorders, attachment issues, severe trauma, or impulsive choices, it makes sense why we would resort to shaming.
A common issue among children adopted or in foster care from traumatic places, is food hoarding or food issues. While it can be frustrating to deal with as a parent, there are some keys to handling it successfully.
A few years ago Oprah Winfrey interviewed Academy Award winning actor Sidney Poitier about his career and his life growing up. In a gripping moment, Oprah asked Mr. Poitier about being poor as a youngster. Often his family didn’t have food and he would go hungry. “How did you work to overcome this as you became an adult?” she asked.
Children who come from trauma are often in a fight for survival, even if they’ve been in your loving care for some time. It’s exhausting and unending at times. How do you successfully parent children who are in a fight while keeping your sanity?
On a mild Monday evening, around 6 pm, I wait expectedly in our kitchen, repeating a series of words over and over to myself. Today is the first day I’ve allowed my son to ride his bike home from football practice. On the stove is a pan of spaghetti and meatballs. In the oven, Texas Toast (our favorite). Dinner is ready. When he gets home, we’ll all sit down and eat. But I know what’s coming. I can hear his words in my head before he even walks through the door… “What’s for dinner?”