What Every Foster Parent Wants To Tell You (But Probably Never Will)

This is a guest post by our good friend, Rachel Lewis. She is a foster, adoptive and birth mom. After a 5-year battle with secondary infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, she now has three children in her arms and a foster son in her heart. She is passionate about helping women feel heard and understood when building their family gets a little bit complicated. You can read her wonderful blog at The Lewis Note. She also offers a free resource, ‘Your BFF Guide to Miscarriage: 5 Ways to Comfort a Friend Through Pregnancy Loss’ here. Connect with Rachel on Facebook, or join her private Facebook group Brave Mamas — a support group for anyone who had to struggle to build their family. 

Ever find yourself banging your head against the wall as you try to gain understanding from outsiders? Ever wish someone could put into words everything you’re thinking as a foster parent? Thankfully, this post does just that.

For starters, we’re pretty tight-lipped. And not always by choice.

Foster parents have ALL the responsibility of being a “real” parent (hello 2 am feedings!) without any of the rights. And that includes the right to share our child’s story.

This particular limitation is to protect the privacy of our foster child. Which I absolutely understand. But it also means foster parents bear the brunt of our children’s stories, and have few people we can share them with. Are we freaked out about a visit because we *happen* to know that dad has a history of violent behavior? Probably. But all we can say is, “I’m nervous” and we can’t always share why. Are we dealing with the repercussions of a child who experienced starvation and neglect and are struggling to manage ALL the issues that come with food? Yep. And you might look at us and wonder why we are being so hypervigilant on the issue. Trust me, we wish we could tell you.

6 Things We’re Thankful For This Thanksgiving

As our family reflects on this year’s Thanksgiving holiday, we have so much to be thankful for. Through the ups and downs of this past year, we stand amazed at the unexpected blessings we’ve received.

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Give thanks in all circumstances.

I was up early a few mornings ago reading when these words flashed across the page. I thought for a moment about the ‘circumstances’ our family has faced in the past year. And then I gave thanks. Because that’s what you need to do. It’s the only way to make it through adversity. Be grateful. Give thanks in all circumstances.

How To Overcome Trials On The Foster Care Journey.

The foster care journey is filled with beauty, heartache, excitement, and loss. It carries so many emotions that it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, or as if you’re not making a difference as a care giver. Fortunately, there is hope. On today’s episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast you’ll discover how true this is…

Jamie Finn knows foster care. As an active foster parent, she consistently cares for multiple children (mostly babies) at a time. She understands fully the ups, the downs, and everything in between when it comes to the emotions you’ll experience. She’s here today to tell you, foster care is worth it. Even when you have to say goodbye, this is worth it. Check out our interview with her now…

Listen Now:

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Resources & Links:

Jamie Finn is the creator and writer behind the wildly popular foster parenting blog, Foster The Family. She is also a speaker and advocate for foster parents and vulnerable children worldwide. You can learn more about her awesome outreach by visiting her blog here or connecting with over Facebook here.

Question: Have you felt overwhelmed on the foster parenting journey? Share your story with us in the comment section below. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

The Boy We Said Yes To.

The adoption journey can bring about immense blessings that you never saw coming and never expected to experience. But sometimes the blessings come in unexpected ways.

We​ ​woke​ ​up​ ​with​ ​an​ ​anxious​ ​heart.

A​ ​15-year​ ​old​ ​boy​ ​was​ ​aging​ ​out​ ​of​ ​the​ ​system​ ​in​ ​the​ ​coming​ ​months.​ ​Aging​ ​out​ ​means​ ​he would​ ​soon​ ​be​ ​too​ ​old​ ​to​ ​be​ ​adopted.​ ​As​ ​if​ ​a​ ​16-year​ ​old​ ​doesn’t​ ​need​ ​a​ ​family​ ​anymore!​ ​He would​ ​be​ ​on​ ​his​ ​own.​ ​Forever.​ ​Most​ ​likely​ ​to​ ​be​ ​homeless,​ ​partake​ ​in​ ​illegal​ ​activity​ ​to​ ​survive, imprisoned,​ ​be​ ​trafficked​ ​and/or​ ​succumb​ ​to​ ​an​ ​early​ ​death.

How To See Grief As A Gift.

Season 7, Episode 61- The Honestly Adoption Podcast

Loss.  Pain.  Sorrow.  Grief.    These are no strangers to those of us on this adoption and foster care journey.  How do we deal with these losses and all of this pain?  What do we do when our heartache is more than we can bear?  Is it actually possible we could learn to see grief as a gift?

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Join us on this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, as Mike and Kristin interview our good friend, and fellow blogger, Natalie Brenner, and how she learned to see grief as a gift.

The Stuff I Learned Through The Trials Of The Adoption Journey.

We are so blessed to have our friend, Lisa Qualls, from One Thankful Mom, here today to share with us some of the hardest parts of her story.  Hear what she has learned about finding Hope within the grief of losing a child, both as a birth mom and later as an adoptive mom.

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Lisa has a unique and varied perspective as both a birth mom, a mom of many, and adoptive and foster mom.  She has suffered and learned through many years of parenting children from hard places, including having a child in residential care for a season and has also suffered the sudden loss of a child in a tragic accident. Listen in as Lisa shares with real, raw, honesty and offers empathetic understanding for anyone experiencing great suffering.

3 Reasons Why Traveling With Kids From Trauma Is Worth It.

It’s often a dreaded adventure for foster and adoptive parents: summer travel. Or any travel, for that matter. Often, we wonder, is it worth it? Maybe we’re safer just staying home? We’re here to tell you, it is worth it. And here’s why…

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Living far from family means we travel occasionally. Four kids requires extra care when traveling on an airplane. Four kids with trauma and sensory issues requires extra, extra care when traveling on an airplane. Four kids, with medical needs, and trauma and sensory issues requires extra, extra, extra care when traveling on an airplane.

How Will I Ever Get Over The Anger I Feel Toward My Child?

Over the past few months, we’ve been inundated with emails asking this question. We get it. We’ve felt it. We’ve been there. And here’s what we have to say about it.

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Sometimes I nod feverishly when I read through emails from readers who pour their broken hearts out. Sometimes I forget to actually hit reply because I’m so engrossed in the pain they are sharing with me. Their son has pushed them to the edge with his behavior…held the entire family hostage…traumatized his younger brothers and sisters to the point of everyone needing therapy…disrupted any ounce of a normal life.