Tell Her She Doesn’t Have To Try.

In a world that pushes perfection and tries to convince our daughters that physical beauty is the most important thing, even if it’s falsified, singer/songwriter Colbie Caillat gets it. Her latest song, “Try” left me in tears. I saw my 4 beautiful daughters in this video:

Fathers, this is for us. This is a heart cry from one father to another. We have the greatest responsibility in the world as dads of girls. We must tell our daughters that they don’t have to try! They don’t have to try to measure up to this world, they don’t have to try to be something they’re not, they don’t have to sacrifice their natural beauty to impress a culture that could turn a cold shoulder to them at any moment.

They don’t have to try because they already are! We must tell them, and show them this every single day of their lives.

What makes my daughters beautiful is something far greater than make-up, popularity, or having the right stylish looks. What makes them beautiful is their heart. Their spirit. Their God-given talent. Their laughter. Their them! (my high school journalism teacher is turning over in her grave right now).

The truth is, this world is killing our little girls. The magazine rack in the grocery store is making them feel like less of a person. They don’t have to try to be like that image. The movie screen causes them to compare themselves to what is really a very expensive filter on a very expensive camera. The images on their favorite teen website force them into a self-deprecating outlook on their life, not realizing that the stars on those sites are hiding behind a photoshop program that makes all the blemishes and imperfections disappear.

It’s not real. It’s definitely not lasting.

These voices and gravitational pulls will not stop because that’s the world we live in. But our voice must not stop either. In fact, it must grow louder. Our approval must intensify as the culture our girls live in intensifies. This is critical gentlemen. And ladies too!

From my heart I can say, I’ve missed my cue with my girls so often in the past. I’ve made my own agenda top priority. I’ve let my daughters walk past me, throughout a day, throughout a week, without telling them how gorgeous they truly are. It’s crucial that I speak up every day and let them know they don’t have to try to be beautiful, because they always have been, and they always will be.

Question: Dads (even moms) do you need to tell your daughter how beautiful she is? What’s stopping you? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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  • sharie

    Brought tears to my eyes!! I have a daughter that was born with a clef lip and has a scar from it. When she tells me the mean things girls at school say it is gut wrenching but I just smile and tell her” people that say things like that are just trying to hide the fact that they are not happy with themselves so they try to make you feel the same.. don’t let their opinion set you back, rise above it and be happy with yourself.” when she asks me why she had to have a clef lip I just tell her that” God made you special and if others that are made special see you being happy with yourself then maybe they will feel the same about themselves. She is a very kind, loving little girl and I believe its because of that. Thank you for this post and video. I showed it to her and she just sat there with a huge smile through the hole song.

    • Sharie, so glad this post hit home. Thanks for sharing!