The Boy We Said Yes To.

The adoption journey can bring about immense blessings that you never saw coming and never expected to experience. But sometimes the blessings come in unexpected ways.

We​ ​woke​ ​up​ ​with​ ​an​ ​anxious​ ​heart.

A​ ​15-year​ ​old​ ​boy​ ​was​ ​aging​ ​out​ ​of​ ​the​ ​system​ ​in​ ​the​ ​coming​ ​months.​ ​Aging​ ​out​ ​means​ ​he would​ ​soon​ ​be​ ​too​ ​old​ ​to​ ​be​ ​adopted.​ ​As​ ​if​ ​a​ ​16-year​ ​old​ ​doesn’t​ ​need​ ​a​ ​family​ ​anymore!​ ​He would​ ​be​ ​on​ ​his​ ​own.​ ​Forever.​ ​Most​ ​likely​ ​to​ ​be​ ​homeless,​ ​partake​ ​in​ ​illegal​ ​activity​ ​to​ ​survive, imprisoned,​ ​be​ ​trafficked​ ​and/or​ ​succumb​ ​to​ ​an​ ​early​ ​death.

He​ ​was​ ​brought​ ​to​ ​our​ ​attention​ ​by​ ​our​ ​agency​ ​who​ ​asked​ ​previous​ ​international​ ​adoptive families​ ​to​ ​advocate​ ​for​ ​him.​ ​So​ ​I​ ​did.​ ​I​ ​posted​ ​his​ ​brief​ ​profile​ ​on​ ​Facebook​ ​in​ ​hopes​ ​that someone​ ​would​ ​adopt​ ​him.​ ​Quickly.​ ​Boys​ ​are​ ​hard​ ​to​ ​place.​ ​Fifteen​ ​soon​ ​to​ ​be​ ​16-year​ ​old​ ​boys​ ​are impossible​ ​to​ ​place.

As​ ​quickly​ ​as​ ​I​ ​posted​ ​it,​ ​I​ ​thought,​ ​“Why​ ​not​ ​us?”

And​ ​then​ ​my​ ​husband​ ​said,​ ​“Why​ ​not​ ​us?”

I​ ​sat​ ​down​ ​with​ ​Google​ ​Translate​ ​and​ ​did​ ​my​ ​best​ ​to​ ​stumble​ ​through​ ​the​ ​pages​ ​of​ ​his​ ​file. I’m​ ​kinda​ ​good​ ​at​ ​this​ ​adoption​ ​process/paper​ ​trail​ ​thing.​ ​I​ ​work​ ​fast.​ ​I​ ​don’t​ ​give​ ​up.​ ​In​ ​fact,​ ​I’m rather​ ​demanding​ ​on​ ​all​ ​parties​ ​involved.​ ​It’s​ ​the​ ​once-​I-get-them​-​home​ ​part​ ​I’m​ ​not​ ​so​ ​good​ ​at.

But​ ​there​ ​are​ ​many​ ​more​ ​reasons​ ​to​ ​the​ ​why​ ​not​ ​us.​ ​Our​ ​oldest​ ​is​ ​10.​ ​We’d​ ​be​ ​breaking​ ​a​ ​​BIG rule:​ ​Don’t​ ​adopt​ ​out​ ​of​ ​birth​ ​order.​ ​It​ ​causes​ ​all​ ​kinds​ ​of​ ​trouble​ ​for​ ​everyone​ ​because​ ​someone is​ ​being​ ​displaced​ ​in​ ​the​ ​hierarchy​ ​of​ ​the​ ​family.​ ​Some​ ​countries​ ​are​ ​against​ ​it.​ ​Some​ ​agencies are​ ​against​ ​it.​ ​Some​ ​will​ ​make​ ​exceptions.​ ​Some​ ​will​ ​not.​ ​Some​ ​families​ ​are​ ​crazy​ ​enough​ ​to​ ​do it.​ ​Most​ ​are​ ​not.

It’s​ ​not​ ​safe​ ​for​ ​our​ ​younger​ ​kids.​ ​Who​ ​knows​ ​what​ ​an​ ​older​ ​child​ ​has​ ​been​ ​exposed​ ​to​ ​and therefore​ ​is​ ​capable​ ​of.​ ​The​ ​unthinkable​ ​and​ ​unspeakable​ ​does​ ​happen.

We’re​ ​KINDA​ ​finally​ ​settled.​ ​Kinda.​ ​So​ ​really?

The​ ​money.​ ​The​ ​least​ ​of​ ​our​ ​concerns.​ ​We’ve​ ​NEVER​ ​had​ ​the​ ​money.​ ​But​ ​it​ ​always​ ​came.​ ​It’s part​ ​of​ ​our​ ​faith​ ​testimony.​ ​But​ ​would​ ​it​ come​ ​​THIS​​ ​time?

But​ ​we’re​ ​drawn​ ​to​ ​the​ ​impossible.​ ​It’s​ ​what​ ​God​ ​does​ ​best.​ ​So​ ​we​ ​made​ ​a​ ​phone​ ​call.​ ​And another.​ ​And​ ​another,​ ​and​ ​another.​ ​We​ ​had​ our​ ​home​ ​study​ ​agency​ ​who​ ​agreed​ ​to​ ​work​ ​fast. We​ ​had​ ​the​ ​money​ ​to​ ​pay​ ​for​ ​the​ ​home​ ​study.​ ​​Barely.​​ ​The​ ​first​ ​of​ ​many​ ​fees.​ ​I​ ​knew​ ​the​ ​rest​ ​of the​ ​tens​ ​of​ ​thousands​ ​would​ ​come​ somehow​ ​like​ ​it​ ​always​ ​has.​ ​And​ ​in​ ​a​ ​matter​ ​of​ ​2​ ​days,​ ​we planned​ ​to​ ​adopt​ ​him​ ​and​ ​make​ ​him​ ​our​ ​son.​ ​He​ ​would​ ​be​ ​home​ ​in​ ​the​ ​spring.

And​ ​then​ ​something​ ​​MIRACULOUS​​ ​happened!​ ​Three​ ​families​ ​came​ ​forward.​ ​To​ ​adopt​ ​an​ ​almost16-year​ ​old boy!​​ ​So the​ ​agency​ ​had​ ​to​ ​choose.​ ​So​ ​strange.​ ​If​ ​only​ ​every​ ​child​ ​had​ ​this​ ​problem of​ ​families​ ​fighting​ ​for​ ​them.

We​ ​were​ ​told​ ​the​ ​decision​ ​would​ ​be​ ​made​ ​by​ ​Friday.​ ​Plans​ ​were​ ​being​ ​made.​ ​I​ ​thought​ ​about plans​ ​for​ ​him​ ​for​ ​school.​ ​And​ ​language​ ​acquisition​ ​for​ ​all​ ​of​ ​us.​ ​We​ ​told​ ​the​ ​boys​ ​to​ ​prepare them.​ ​We​ ​prayed​ ​for​ ​him​ ​to​ ​have​ ​a​ ​family…whichever​ ​one​ ​it​ ​would​ ​be.

Even​ ​this​ ​child​ ​didn’t​ ​know​ ​what​ ​all​ ​was​ ​going​ ​on​ ​to​ ​make​ ​him​ ​part​ ​of​ ​a​ ​family.​ ​Crazy!​ ​A​ ​boy​ ​in​ ​a faraway​ ​place​ ​has​ ​no​ ​idea​ ​how​ ​wanted​ ​he​ ​is.​ ​And​ ​he​ ​won’t​ ​know​ ​until​ ​the​ ​official​ ​match​ ​has been​ ​made​ ​which​ ​wouldn’t​ ​happen​ ​for​ ​months.​ ​Days​ ​before​ ​his​ ​birthday.

How​ ​beautiful​ ​is​ ​that?

That’s​ ​how​ ​adoption​ ​works.​ ​

I​ ​tried​ ​to​ ​prepare​ ​myself​ ​all​ ​day.​ ​We​ ​tried​ ​to​ ​encourage​ ​one​ ​another​ ​that​ ​no​ ​matter​ ​what happened,​ ​our​ ​yes​ ​was​ ​still​ ​obedience.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​reminded​ ​of​ ​Abraham’s​ ​sacrifice in the Old Testament.​ ​I​ ​questioned,​ ​“But didn’t​ ​God​ ​already​ ​know​ ​what​ ​Abraham​ ​would​ ​do?”​ ​Abraham’s​ ​test​ ​was​ ​to​ ​grow​ ​his​ ​own​ ​faith, not​ ​prove​ ​anything​ ​to​ ​God.

My​ ​husband​ ​sent​ ​this​ ​to​ ​me:

I​ ​know​ ​it​ ​could​ ​be​ ​disappointing​ ​if​ ​we​ ​are​ ​not​ ​chosen.​ ​But​ ​I​ ​want​ ​to​ ​celebrate​ ​how​ ​we​ ​are​ ​living and​ ​trying​ ​to​ ​be​ ​obedient/faithful…even​ ​if​ ​we​ ​are​ ​not​ ​the​ ​family.

During​ ​the​ ​day​ ​I​ ​got​ ​a​ ​disturbing​ ​text​ ​about​ ​another​ ​child.​ ​So​ ​disturbing.​ ​Oh​ ​the​ ​pain​ ​of​ ​not having​ ​a​ ​family​ ​to​ ​call​ ​your​ ​own​ ​and​ ​to​ ​not​ ​have​ ​a​ ​father’s​ ​protection!

My​ ​heart​ ​grew​ ​heavier.

And​ ​then​ ​another​ ​disturbing​ ​message​ ​about​ ​a​ ​court​ ​ruling.​ ​Oh​ ​the​ ​pain​ ​of​ ​a​ ​child​ ​trapped​ ​in​ ​a broken​ ​system!

Still​ ​heavier.

The​ ​longer​ ​the​ ​day​ ​got​ ​the​ ​more​ ​I​ ​tried​ ​to​ ​prepare​ ​my​ ​heart.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​in​ ​deep.​ ​We​ ​both​ ​were.​ ​Two-thirty rolled​ ​around.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​4:30​ ​where​ ​the​ ​call​ ​we​ ​had​ ​been​ ​waiting​ ​on​ ​would​ ​come​ ​from.​ ​Almost​ ​the end​ ​of​ ​the​ ​work​ ​day​ ​and​ ​week.​ ​So​ ​I​ ​sent​ ​an​ ​email.

“Please​ ​just​ ​tell​ ​us​ ​before​ ​the​ ​weekend​ ​comes.​ ​It’s​ ​killing​ ​us.”

And​ ​minutes​ ​later​ ​the​ ​call​ ​came.​ ​He​ ​would​ ​not​ ​be​ ​our​ ​son.

I​ ​cried.​ ​We​ ​both​ ​did.

He​ ​got​ ​a​ ​family!!!​ ​A​ ​child​ ​has​ ​a​ ​family.​ ​My​ ​mantra​ ​to​ ​myself​ ​to​ ​still​ ​my​ ​heart​ ​was,​ ​”We’re​ ​healthy. We’re​ ​safe.​ ​He​ ​got​ ​a​ ​family.​ ​We’re​ ​healthy.​ ​We’re​ ​safe.​ ​He​ ​got​ ​a​ ​family.”

But​ ​our​ ​hearts​ ​were​ ​broken.

Why​ ​did​ ​it​ ​hurt?

I​ ​tried​ ​all​ ​day​ ​to​ ​figure​ ​out,​ ​if​ ​the​ ​goal​ ​was​ ​for​ ​him​ ​to​ ​have​ ​a​ ​family​ ​and​ ​a​ ​week​ ​ago​ ​he​ ​didn’t even​ ​exist​ ​to​ ​us,​ ​why​ ​did​ ​it​ ​hurt​ ​so​ ​much?​ ​It’s​ ​not​ ​like​ ​we​ ​didn’t​ ​have​ ​kids.​ ​​Four​​ ​to​ ​be​ ​exact.​ ​It’s​ not like​ ​it​ ​was​ ​going​ ​to​ ​be​ ​easy​ ​to​ ​have​ ​a​ ​teenage​ ​son​ ​when​ ​we​ ​knew​ ​nothing​ ​of​ ​teenagers.​ ​It’s​ ​not like​ ​our​ ​older​ ​boys​ ​were​ ​ecstatic​ ​about​ ​this​ ​decision​ ​mom​ ​and​ ​dad​ ​were​ ​making.

I​ ​woke​ ​up​ ​Saturday​ ​and​ ​knew​ ​why.​ ​We​ ​were​ ​going​ ​to​ ​miss​ ​out​ ​on​ ​a​ ​​BLESSING​.​ ​He​ ​would​ ​have blessed​ ​our​ ​life.​ ​I​ ​knew​ ​it.​ ​Because​ ​that’s​ ​how​ ​adoption​ ​works.​ ​It’s​ ​a​ ​blessing.

This​ ​was​ ​not​ ​about​ ​what​ ​was​ ​or​ ​was​ ​not​ ​meant​ ​to​ ​be.​ ​Our​ ​hearts​ ​went​ ​somewhere​ ​we​ ​never thought​ ​we​ ​were​ ​capable​ ​of.​ ​We​ ​said​ ​yes.​ ​Our​ ​yes​ ​was​ ​not​ ​wasted.​ ​Our​ ​faith​ ​is​ ​​BIGGER​.

163,000,000​ ​-​ ​4​ ​blessings.​ ​And​ ​counting.

Question: Have you been on the roller coaster ride that adoption sometimes can be? Share your story with us in the comment section below. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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  • Luann Yarrow Doman

    I love this x 100. Thanks so much for sharing it.

    • Michelle Sackett McKinney

      Thanks for loving it!