We are so blessed to have our friend, Lisa Qualls, from One Thankful Mom, here today to share with us some of the hardest parts of her story. Hear what she has learned about finding Hope within the grief of losing a child, both as a birth mom and later as an adoptive mom.
Lisa has a unique and varied perspective as both a birth mom, a mom of many, and adoptive and foster mom. She has suffered and learned through many years of parenting children from hard places, including having a child in residential care for a season and has also suffered the sudden loss of a child in a tragic accident. Listen in as Lisa shares with real, raw, honesty and offers empathetic understanding for anyone experiencing great suffering.
Show Notes and Quotes…
“I never did get over it.”
“I was young but I loved him so much…I was intensely bonded with this baby.”
“I never would have dreamed I would become an adoptive mother because adoption had caused so much pain in our life.”
“God said, ‘No, no, you’re not going to stay there. I’m going to redeem this in your life.'”
“Getting help is so hard and finding the right help is incredibly difficult.”
“We grieved the family we had been and realized we would never be again.”
“Never do you imagine losing a child…The first year we were in shock.”
“Everything we had always said we believed…this was it. Either we really believed it or we didn’t.”
Stuff I Learned as a Birth Mom
- When possible, try to be open-hearted.
- (As adoptive parents), we have to live in the tension of loving and caring for the birth parents that our children love.
Stuff I Learned through the Grief of Losing a Child
- Initially, the practical is what keeps you going.
- Grief is so hard on your kids and your marriage.
- You have to have faith in knowing that this life is not “it.” We’re not there yet, but it takes faith.
- You don’t have to figure out how you are going to get through all of it, but just through this moment.
- Cling to the basics: “I am safe. I am loved.”
- Grief comes in waves. The worst feeling will not last forever.
Resources and Links
Lisa Qualls has been married to Russ for thirty-three years and is a mom of 12 through both birth and adoption and sometimes foster-care. She blogs over at One Thankful Mom, which is an amazing resource and encouragement you will want to check out!
Question: What have you learned about finding Hope in great suffering and grief? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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