There are so many up and down emotions swirling around in our children, and we are often so exhausted, that it’s easy to forget about developmental delays. How do you recognize this in your children? This may help…
With the journey I’ve been on with my kids over the last 13 years, I’ve become a firm believer in getting our kids evaluated by professionals. Not just any professional. But professionals who specialize in adoption. Admittedly, they are hard to find. Which is why we travel hours, and sometimes to the next state over, and pay a lot of money because insurance doesn’t usually cover the best.
Sometimes it’s hard to feel a genuine connection with our children. Especially if we have a lot of difficulties with them often. But trust that love is there. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
It’s no secret that some types of people are easier to love. It’s no secret that some types of people are hard to love. It’s not a secret that some types of kids are easier to love. There are even some types of kids who are SUPER HARD to love. The BIG secret however, is that sometimes they are your very own children. Even if they are biological. Sometimes connections are just easier with some than others.
Sometimes we find ourselves struggling through this journey as parents in ways that are beyond the normal struggle. But often, we’re afraid to admit that we may need medication too. How do we reach out? Our hope is that this post encourages you to bravely step into the light. You are not alone!
My children were preschool and elementary age and had struggles. The kind that keeps you up at night. That drains you. That most people don’t get. The behavior kind. The invisible special needs-kind which gives way to more judgement from others, even if just perceived. It had been years and was taking a toll on me.
Fear is a powerful emotion. We know what it feels like to be afraid of something, but we often gloss over the way fear controls our lives and most importantly, our children’s lives.
Everyone said it would happen. I didn’t believe them.Not that I would be gone too soon or anything. Just thought I’d have a life-long hover between my 20s and 30s. Yet surprise, surprise, I hit the 40s. And what they said would happen…did.
We know you because we are you. Your heart is bursting for vulnerable children worldwide. In fact, if you could, you would bring every child without a forever home into yours. But what do you do when your children who are already a permanent part of your home are saying, “No more”?
We’ve been conversating this one for a while now. Our last adoption happened 5 years ago. And due to a couple of our kid’s trauma issues, and the trauma that our last adoption brought to our family (in short…we had to all move to a far away land for 4 months…which resulted in another move upon our return), we have 1 kid that absolutely…
Community is so unbelievably important to achieving health and success with your kiddos on this journey. Even if the journey is easier for some and harder for others. We’re all in this together and we need one another.
Have you ever met an adoptive family that seems to have it easy? Like not only was their process smooth, but their kid just hasn’t seemed to skip a beat. No health issues. No physical issues. No mental health issues. No IEPs. No developmental delays. No sibling rivalry issues. No letters for a diagnosis the majority of the world doesn’t understand issues. No phone calls from school issues. No law enforcement issues. And no holes-in-your-walls issues.
It’s a common question in our society. We all wonder if we are capable of such a hard task. Those of us who are seasoned usually find out we most definitely are not capable at all because so much more plays into it. Outside our group, it’s phrased as more of an exclamation. “Not everyone should adopt!” It seems they feel judged and maybe that I think of them as less than for not doing such a “noble” task.
I’ve observed/know of/heard of many families who started the journey of adoption where it worked great. Most just worked, but maybe not great. I’ve also observed those that started the journey and then it didn’t work. Like all things went TERRIBLY wrong. There is no cookie cutter answer or family for this job.
Parents, we have almost made it through another year of school! Nightly fights over homework. Almost done. School projects completed, even if thrown together the night before. Or 3 days late. And by you only. Too many lunches packed to count. Admittedly, getting less nutritious as the days click away. We’re hitting the home stretch. But with this excitement of spring comes a small amount of stress, because spring season brings…IEP reviews!
I have 4 kids. 3 IEPs. This is no joke, folks. IEPs are no laughing matter. We were part of the fifth largest school district in the nation with very few resources. We almost went to due process in our last full year. You might say, I’m seasoned. Weathered. Or worn.