We are often asked what we need, or how someone can help our family. While these questions are always appreciated, the answer may surprise you.
We did it again. Another trip to grandparent’s house for the summer. Me and 4 kids on a long plane ride. As expected, it was not without incident. The return flight is always more laden with anxiety, exhaustion and nothing to look forward to so any ability we had to hold it together, is now gone. The kids ran off the plane before me as I struggled with the carry-on luggage. Immediately upon walking through the gate at our layover city, a stranger approached me and informed me she had just pulled one child off of the other. I replied with a quick, “thanks” and I tried to avoid eye contact with the hundreds of gawkers as our multi-racial family walked on (as if nothing happened) and made our way to the next gate.
Sometimes we can become so exhausted on this journey that we lose sight of our children’s accomplishments. They are warriors. Many have had to overcome so much! Even if you’re in a hard season, you have reason to be proud!
Once again, to my surprise, school is drawing to a close for the year. Parents, we’ve almost made it! Announcements for award ceremonies are going out through multiple emails. Parents are notified if their children will be receiving an award. We received a note stating one child would. Not a surprise. He’s a smart kid. Does his homework without being told. Those kind do exist who seemingly don’t struggle. But we got another one. For another child. And I knew due to the flu season that ravaged our home and required renting a carpet cleaner, it wasn’t for attendance. What could this award be? Surely this is wrong. Perhaps it accidentally got placed in the wrong backpack.
When most families around the world celebrate a Holiday like Easter Sunday with jubilation, families like ours brace for a storm. From the candy, overstimulation from church and family gatherings, to the mad rush of an easter egg hunt, it often proves to be disastrous. How do you find hope when this is the case?
It’s the day after Easter. I’m sitting on the couch scrolling through Facebook. I should know better after holidays. Look at all the beautiful family pictures! All those smiles! Such pretty dresses. Everyone enjoying church together. Fun Easter egg hunts and spring activities. Lots and LOTS of smiles and thanksgiving for blissful time with extended family and a few mentions of what Easter truly is.
This is not an easy reality to face. Because you never want to admit that your child is bullying others. But there’s something prompting this behavior. And there is hope for this child!
It’s true. My kid’s the bully. This super shy and overly compliant girl that was never THAT KID has sat in the principal’s office more times than she can count in her mothering years. It’s certainly not something I asked for. But it is something I unknowingly signed up for.
There are so many up and down emotions swirling around in our children, and we are often so exhausted, that it’s easy to forget about developmental delays. How do you recognize this in your children? This may help…
With the journey I’ve been on with my kids over the last 13 years, I’ve become a firm believer in getting our kids evaluated by professionals. Not just any professional. But professionals who specialize in adoption. Admittedly, they are hard to find. Which is why we travel hours, and sometimes to the next state over, and pay a lot of money because insurance doesn’t usually cover the best.
Sometimes it’s hard to feel a genuine connection with our children. Especially if we have a lot of difficulties with them often. But trust that love is there. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
It’s no secret that some types of people are easier to love. It’s no secret that some types of people are hard to love. It’s not a secret that some types of kids are easier to love. There are even some types of kids who are SUPER HARD to love. The BIG secret however, is that sometimes they are your very own children. Even if they are biological. Sometimes connections are just easier with some than others.
Sometimes we find ourselves struggling through this journey as parents in ways that are beyond the normal struggle. But often, we’re afraid to admit that we may need medication too. How do we reach out? Our hope is that this post encourages you to bravely step into the light. You are not alone!
My children were preschool and elementary age and had struggles. The kind that keeps you up at night. That drains you. That most people don’t get. The behavior kind. The invisible special needs-kind which gives way to more judgement from others, even if just perceived. It had been years and was taking a toll on me.
Fear is a powerful emotion. We know what it feels like to be afraid of something, but we often gloss over the way fear controls our lives and most importantly, our children’s lives.
Everyone said it would happen. I didn’t believe them.Not that I would be gone too soon or anything. Just thought I’d have a life-long hover between my 20s and 30s. Yet surprise, surprise, I hit the 40s. And what they said would happen…did.