When You Still Have to Parent Adult Children

This is a guest post from Melissa Corkum. Melissa is a parent and wellness coach helping parents move from chaos to calm and confidence. She is an adult adoptee and married to Patrick. They live in Maryland and are parents to 6 kids by birth and adoption and soon-to-be grandparents. She writes at thecorkboardonline.com and is the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a resource site and podcast for adoptive and foster families.

It’s a reality that many of us on the adoption journey will face. We will be actively involved in hands on parenting with our adult children in ways most parents will not. How do you face this with hope and a plan?

There’s nothing magical about the age 18. Sure, there are some legal ramifications, but it doesn’t get us off the hook as parents.
Research shows that brains aren’t even fully developed until 25 or 30. For our kids who experienced trauma early in life, this may take even a few more years. I can feel you starting to hyperventilate. You’re probably imagining your child at 30, on your basement sofa, surrounded by Doritos bags, eyes glazed over from 20 straight hours of video games.

Take a few deep breaths.

As with all other parenting, the sweet spot for parenting adult children needs high structure along with high nurture. There needs to be healthy boundaries in place, but also compassion that kids from trauma may need extra support and time to launch into a more independent life.

“What Advice Would You Give To Parents During The Holidays?”

Tea With Teens Episode 2

In the latest episode of Tea With Teens, the girls get together to decorate Christmas Cookies, sip Hot Cocoa, and spill a whole bunch of tea…

“What is your favorite Christmas tradition?”

“Some children get dysregulated during the holidays. What advice do you have to keep them calm?”

“What advice would you give my newly adopted little girls?”