Is It Disobedience Or Lack Of Executive Functioning?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Season 13, Episode 105

On today’s episode of the The Honestly Adoption Podcast we are continuing our series called “Is It Disobedience Or Something Else,” by answering the question, “Is it disobedience or lack of executive functioning?” Our show is now available to watch on YouTube. Check it out..

Click Here To Subscribe To Our YouTube Channel

For the next several weeks we are asking the question, “Is it disobedience or something else?” The reality is, children who have experienced significant trauma display behaviors that can often be misinterpreted as disobedience. But the truth is, there is so much more going on.

Listen to the audio player now:

Why We’re Not Sending Our Child To Residential Treatment Again

We’ve been down this road in the past. Several times if I’m being honest. But now, we’ve decided to change our entire approach to parenting our child.

I’ll never forget December 15, 2014. I sat alongside my wife in a cozy office, in another state, clutching both of my knees with my hands so tightly, I’m sure they left a mark. Just outside the window to my left the gray conglomerate of trees, left naked from winter winds, glistened with a fresh coating of frost in the early sunlight. I would normally take in this type of beauty, and marvel at the winter stillness, but not today. I could hear the intake person ask me questions. He must have repeated himself several times. But it was sort of like watching a movie where everything slows down, even the dialogue and facial expressions, and the protagonist only hears echoes of someone’s voice, not clear words.

Is It Disobedience Or Survival?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 13, Episode 104

We are excited to kick off a brand new season of The Honestly Adoption Podcast. Beginning with this new season, we are also featuring the show on YouTube. Check it out..

Click Here To Subscribe To Our YouTube Channel

For the next several weeks we are asking the question, “Is it disobedience or something else?” The reality is, children who have experienced significant trauma display behaviors that can often be misinterpreted as disobedience. But the truth is, there is so much more going on.

Listen to the audio player now:

How An End Of School Year Awards Ceremony Made Us Proud Of Our Kids!

Sometimes we can become so exhausted on this journey that we lose sight of our children’s accomplishments. They are warriors. Many have had to overcome so much! Even if you’re in a hard season, you have reason to be proud!

Once again, to my surprise, school is drawing to a close for the year. Parents, we’ve almost made it! Announcements for award ceremonies are going out through multiple emails. Parents are notified if their children will be receiving an award. We received a note stating one child would. Not a surprise. He’s a smart kid. Does his homework without being told. Those kind do exist who seemingly don’t struggle. But we got another one. For another child. And I knew due to the flu season that ravaged our home and required renting a carpet cleaner, it wasn’t for attendance. What could this award be? Surely this is wrong. Perhaps it accidentally got placed in the wrong backpack.

Why I Can No Longer Bubble Wrap My Child

As our children grow into adulthood, we become increasingly helpless to stop them from making choices that could lead to serious consequences. We’re in this season with one of our children. What do you do when you realize you can no longer stop them from doing what they want?

I remember the first time my child did something that led to a serious outcome. It was the summer he was 13 years old. He was enrolled in a day camp in the neighboring town to our home. In the middle of the day, during the second week he attended, we were called to pick him up suddenly in the middle of the day. He became physically aggressive with another camper.

Why You Should Never Bad Mouth Your Child’s First Family

It can be a difficult thing to not do, at times, because your child’s storyline may not be very positive. But it’s critical that we never bad mouth our child’s first family. Here’s why…

My mom taught me not to talk about people behind their back. I appreciate that lesson. It was something that she and my dad not only taught us but something they also modeled.

Will The World Ever Understand My Child’s Disorder?

From frustrating IEP meetings, to disagreeable doctors, inappropriate church goers, and nosey neighbors. The world is full of people who think we’re making our child’s disorder up, or just misunderstand our reality altogether. The question is, will they ever understand?

No. They won’t. Actually, let me change that…probably…most likely not. Bitter pill to swallow, I know. I’ve racked my brain over this topic for a very long time, and as much as I want to be optimistic and hopeful, at the end of the day, I have to say, I don’t think so. I don’t think the world ever will understand. Disorders like FASDs (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders) oppositional defiance disorder, attachment disorder, or separation anxieties (to name a few) are misunderstood, if not ignored completely.

When Holidays Aren’t All They’re Cracked Up To Be

When most families around the world celebrate a Holiday like Easter Sunday with jubilation, families like ours brace for a storm. From the candy, overstimulation from church and family gatherings, to the mad rush of an easter egg hunt, it often proves to be disastrous. How do you find hope when this is the case?


It’s the day after Easter. I’m sitting on the couch scrolling through Facebook. I should know better after holidays. Look at all the beautiful family pictures! All those smiles! Such pretty dresses. Everyone enjoying church together. Fun Easter egg hunts and spring activities. Lots and LOTS of smiles and thanksgiving for blissful time with extended family and a few mentions of what Easter truly is.