We’ve been down this road in the past. Several times if I’m being honest. But now, we’ve decided to change our entire approach to parenting our child.
I’ll never forget December 15, 2014. I sat alongside my wife in a cozy office, in another state, clutching both of my knees with my hands so tightly, I’m sure they left a mark. Just outside the window to my left the gray conglomerate of trees, left naked from winter winds, glistened with a fresh coating of frost in the early sunlight. I would normally take in this type of beauty, and marvel at the winter stillness, but not today. I could hear the intake person ask me questions. He must have repeated himself several times. But it was sort of like watching a movie where everything slows down, even the dialogue and facial expressions, and the protagonist only hears echoes of someone’s voice, not clear words.
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For the next several weeks we are asking the question, “Is it disobedience or something else?” The reality is, children who have experienced significant trauma display behaviors that can often be misinterpreted as disobedience. But the truth is, there is so much more going on.
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Sometimes we can become so exhausted on this journey that we lose sight of our children’s accomplishments. They are warriors. Many have had to overcome so much! Even if you’re in a hard season, you have reason to be proud!
Once again, to my surprise, school is drawing to a close for the year. Parents, we’ve almost made it! Announcements for award ceremonies are going out through multiple emails. Parents are notified if their children will be receiving an award. We received a note stating one child would. Not a surprise. He’s a smart kid. Does his homework without being told. Those kind do exist who seemingly don’t struggle. But we got another one. For another child. And I knew due to the flu season that ravaged our home and required renting a carpet cleaner, it wasn’t for attendance. What could this award be? Surely this is wrong. Perhaps it accidentally got placed in the wrong backpack.
From frustrating IEP meetings, to disagreeable doctors, inappropriate church goers, and nosey neighbors. The world is full of people who think we’re making our child’s disorder up, or just misunderstand our reality altogether. The question is, will they ever understand?
No. They won’t. Actually, let me change that…probably…most likely not. Bitter pill to swallow, I know. I’ve racked my brain over this topic for a very long time, and as much as I want to be optimistic and hopeful, at the end of the day, I have to say, I don’t think so. I don’t think the world ever will understand. Disorders like FASDs (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders) oppositional defiance disorder, attachment disorder, or separation anxieties (to name a few) are misunderstood, if not ignored completely.
When most families around the world celebrate a Holiday like Easter Sunday with jubilation, families like ours brace for a storm. From the candy, overstimulation from church and family gatherings, to the mad rush of an easter egg hunt, it often proves to be disastrous. How do you find hope when this is the case?
It’s the day after Easter. I’m sitting on the couch scrolling through Facebook. I should know better after holidays. Look at all the beautiful family pictures! All those smiles! Such pretty dresses. Everyone enjoying church together. Fun Easter egg hunts and spring activities. Lots and LOTS of smiles and thanksgiving for blissful time with extended family and a few mentions of what Easter truly is.
Two movie reviews in one week! We’ve never done this before. But as the weather becomes warmer, and families venture out to the theaters, we want to adequately equip you to make the best choices in family entertainment. Check out my full review below…
I’ll be the first to admit: I’m traditionally a Marvel guy. Give me a Captain America, Thor, Black Panther, or Avengers film any day of the week and I’m happy. So, my 3 young sons and I cautiously trotted into a Florida theater to see the new DC film, Shazam this past Friday. They are Marvel men as well.
The word support can be a trigger word for many foster and adoptive parents. The reason is that often, they lack it, desperately need it, but have no idea how to find it. And many organizations are at a loss as to how to provide it. In this latest episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we talk about 3 keys to establishing genuine support.
My good friends Josh and Jenn Hook, authors, bloggers, and leaders of Replanted Ministry and Refresh Chicago, join me on this episode. Recently, the 3 of us co-wrote the brand new book Replanted: Faith-Based Support For Foster And Adoptive Families. In this episode, we’re taking you inside the book to discuss 3 keys to finding and establishing genuine support for families. Listen In Now…
Make sure you visit the Honestly Adoption Podcast website over at www.honestlyadoption.com. You can catch up on past episodes as well as visit our latest featured resources!
This is not an easy reality to face. Because you never want to admit that your child is bullying others. But there’s something prompting this behavior. And there is hope for this child!
It’s true. My kid’s the bully. This super shy and overly compliant girl that was never THAT KID has sat in the principal’s office more times than she can count in her mothering years. It’s certainly not something I asked for. But it is something I unknowingly signed up for.