Will Visiting With Birth Parent Hurt My Child In The Long Run?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 10, Episode 94

Your child will always have first family. And as much as possible, we believe you should work to formulate a solid relationship with them. After all, they gave your child life. But what if there’s a possibility this will hurt your child in the long run?

It’s a valid question: “Will visiting with birth parents, or having a relationship with them, hurt my child in the long run?” We understand where this comes from. But we also know that oftentimes, birth parents get a bad rep thanks to current news media, and unwarranted or unfounded fear. There are situations that are not healthy, yes, that’s true. But, before you make a final decision on whether or not it’s healthy to be in relationship, Mike and Kristin have some advice on how to connect in the healthiest way possible…

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When Do You Step In And Protect Your Child From Themself?

As parents, one of our jobs is to allow our children to make their own decisions, when they’re old enough. But what do you do when you realize you need to step in and make decisions for them? How do you know when it’s time to protect them from themselves?

I remember hearing an old preacher, a long time ago, talk about granting our kids responsibility when they grew older. “We must arrive to the place in our parenting, and when our children are old enough, where we allow them to stand on their own two feet,” he said, through a crackly voice. 

How Do I Stop My Child From Causing Disregulation Among Siblings?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 10, Episode 93

The disastrous car rides, the grocery store trips that abruptly end in fights, the movie nights that turn into tears. What do you do when one of your children continually causes all your children to be disregulated? How do you stop them? On today’s episode of the podcast, we’re answering this big question…

This one resonates deeply with us. We’ve stood helplessly by and watched all of our other children, who are just trying to ride to church, or school, in peace, move into a complete emotional tailspin because one of our children cannot keep their hands, or comments, to themselves. And the day is completely ruined! Ever been there? When we’re talking about children from past trauma, we’re also talking about impulsive and often frustrating behavior. Oftentimes, they can’t even help it.

But that’s not fair to your other children! How do you stop this from happening, or at least better manage it when it does? Listen in as we answer this question…

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At The End Of The Day, It’s All About Relationship.

This is a guest post by author and therapist Ron Nydam (PhD). Ron specializes in helping adoptive family’s develop and connect in a healthy, positive way. His latest book, Wise Adoptive Parenting, helps families better connect to their children, and adoptees feel heard and understood. You can pick up your very own copy by clicking here.

Through all of the trauma education, and attachment strategies we can learn (and certainly benefit from), our connection with our children still comes down to one factor: relationship!

Many parents who are new to the adoption journey wonder what it takes to make good things happen in the development of their children. They may wonder day after day how to find a way to be effective with their children who frustrate their first attempts at helping them manage his or her behavior. Parenting quickly becomes a guessing game as to what might work and might not work when a child’s behavior is out of control, or over the rails in terms of everyday family life. 

What Are Some Practical Ways To Help My Child Focus?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 10, Episode 91

On this week’s episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we’re continuing our special series called “I Have A Question,” with a great question about how to better help our kiddos focus.

It’s a struggle that many foster and adoptive parents have with their children. How to help them focus? This is mostly spotlighted with things like homework, chores, and daily routine. And it can be extremely frustrating on a daily basis. In this episode, hosts Mike and Kristin Berry walk listeners through 5 key strategies that can change everything for you and your children.

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In-Spite Of Hard Moments, This Is So Beautiful!

Often over the last several years, we’ve been asked if adoption and foster care is really worth it. Granted, this question usually comes from people outside of the journey, who are peering into our lives wondering. But our answer is pretty solid. YES! Here’s why…

It was one of those long days, yesterday, where you’re doing a million things but not really getting anything done. Ever had a day like that? No margin, no time to take a breath, just running, and running, and running. By the time I finally made it home last night with my teenagers, around 6pm, I was completely exhausted. So exhausted, in fact, that I had been thinking about my bed, and the the 3-inch memory foam on it, since I had crawled out of it at 5am early that morning! Yeah, that exhausted.

What Do You Do With A Child Who Doesn’t Care?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 10, Episode 90

It’s a big question that many foster and adoptive parents have when it comes to their children- “What do I do with a child who just doesn’t seem to care about anything, or anyone?” On today’s episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin bring insight to this lingering question.

You’ve probably experienced something similar to this… it’s Christmas morning and the entire family is gathered around the tree to open presents with joy. Except for one child, who has plopped down on the sofa in the other room with her phone, earbuds in, ignoring everyone. She doesn’t care that it’s Christmas (or at least it appears this way). How do you handle this? Listen in as Mike and Kristin give some practical, yet valuable advice…

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How To Love A Child Who Won’t Love You Back

A Special Encore Episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast

On today’s episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we’re taking you back, back, waaaay back to an episode Mike and Kristin hosted a few years ago with their good friend Nicole Goerges, entitled How To Love A Child Who Won’t Love You Back.

It’s an all-too-common tale on the foster and adoptive parenting journey- you love the child you’ve welcomed into your home deeply. You have given everything to them. You have committed to being their forever mommy or daddy. The connection you have to them is deeper than deep. But they don’t (at least it appears so) feel the same way toward you. In this encore episode, listen in as Mike, Kristin and Nicole talk openly about this topic, and offer practical insights…

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