To The Parent Who Is Struggling…I See You!

This post is written by an adoptive dad who writes with such honesty and hope, we know you will appreciate this as much as we do!

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and isolated on the parenting journey. Especially when your children are struggling and you feel you don’t know how to help. But there is hope in the midst of the struggle…

I remember the first time I felt that isolating feeling. You know the one I’m talking about, right? As if you’re standing in the middle of a crowded room, surrounded by people who are talking, laughing, hugging, and joking, but you feel unseen. You wonder if you screamed at the top of your lungs, or began throwing a massive temper tantrum in the middle of the crowd, if anyone would stop and take notice?

Is It Ever Okay To Leave The Toxic Relationship Of Family Or Friends?

This guest post is written by an adoptive mom and colleague of ours. She tackles a subject we know many foster and adoptive parents face.

When we begin the foster or adoptive journey, we need support. Often, we find it through family and close friendships. But sometimes, we don’t. What do you do when you realize it’s time to walk away from those relationships?

I’ve heard a lot of stories through the years about drama and pain caused by friends and family. There are many reasons this happens in adoptive families. And some, including me, have struggled with the decision to walk away from others and chosen the health of our children over the toxic relationship.

Honestly Adoption “Answers” (Part 2)

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 13, Episode 112

Welcome back to Part 2 of our special podcast series “Answers.” In this episode we discuss one of the questions we pose in our new book, Honestly Adoption, which is “Why Is It Important To Empower Our Children?”

Because our children have come from hard places, they often feel powerless to speak up for themselves, advocate for themselves, and even make decisions that affect their lives. The loss that lives within them often propels this. That’s why it’s critical that we empower our children. In this week’s episode we once again take you behind the scenes of writing our latest book, but also answer the question, “Why is it important to empower our children?” Listen in now…

There’s A Reason Your Child Always Fights You For Control

This post is from an adoptive parent whose hope is that others parents will learn and grow from his experiences.

As parents of children with a trauma history, we often find ourselves engaged in futile battles with them for control. But when we understand the why behind their fight, the way we parent them can change.

We understand.

Let’s begin there. We understand the battles you’ve gone through (and are going through) with your child. We’ve been there. Every single day your child may fight you for control and it feels exhausting. Sometimes, the battle makes sense. Often, the battle makes no sense at all. As parents we feel that life is a merry-go-round and we just want to stop feeling so dizzy.

How To Find Therapy For The Caregiver

This post is written by adoptive mom, Kristin.

The children we care for may need to spend time every week seeing a therapist to help them process their trauma history. This is a good thing. However, it begs the question…what about you? The caregiver? What if you need therapy to? How do you find this?

I believe deeply in the importance of therapy for children who have experienced trauma. My children have had some of the most amazing counselors over the years who have gone out of their way to support not only my children but my entire family.

Is It Disobedience Or A Teenager Being A Teenager?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 13, Episode 110

In our latest episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we conclude our series, Is It Disobedience Or Something Else, by talking about teenagers…

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Fostering, adopting, or even simply parenting teenagers is no small task and it’s certainly not for the faint of heart. It’s challenging. But when you consider the reality of trauma histories, and how they determine present behavior, the question must be asked- “Is this a teenager being a teenager, or is there something else going on here?” That’s the question we answer in this episode of the podcast. Listen in now…

The Ultimate Need Of Every Adoptive Family

This post is anonymously shared by an adoptive mom, to encourage other caregivers. We expect you will appreciate her vulnerability and honesty as much as we do.

We are often asked what we need, or how someone can help our family. While these questions are always appreciated, the answer may surprise you.

We did it again. Another trip to grandparent’s house for the summer. Me and 4 kids on a long plane ride. As expected, it was not without incident. The return flight is always more laden with anxiety, exhaustion and nothing to look forward to so any ability we had to hold it together, is now gone. The kids ran off the plane before me as I struggled with the carry-on luggage. Immediately upon walking through the gate at our layover city, a stranger approached me and informed me she had just pulled one child off of the other. I replied with a quick, “thanks” and I tried to avoid eye contact with the hundreds of gawkers as our multi-racial family walked on (as if nothing happened) and made our way to the next gate.

What to do When Your Child Pushes You Away

This post is written by adoptive mom, Kristin who believes that when we understand our children better, we stop trying to change them and instead change ourselves.

 

When our child’s behavior becomes off-putting, or prickly, it’s often hard to remember that it’s an indication of something bigger going on with them. Remembering this, however, can change how we approach our children…

Blackberries are ripening in Indiana. The warm, rainy summer has left our crop of berries abundant. Behind our barn on the east side of our property the blackberry bushes grow wild, twisting and climbing, weaving their way over old tree stumps and hiding the fresh fruit behind tall weeds. I love to grab a large bowl from the kitchen and make my way behind the barn to pick the dark purple berries. I reach gingerly past the thorns delicately pulling the berries free from the vine. By the time I’m finished, the bowl is full, and I head to the kitchen to make dessert. My hands are stained purple and tiny scratches cover my arms, webbed reminders of the delicate and painful work of harvesting this sweet treat.