Is It Disobedience Or Triggered Behavior?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 13, Episode 108

It’s easy for parents who are caring for children with a trauma history to mistake triggered behavior for disobedience. But, when you understand the origin of behavior, your entire perspective changes. Join us for this week’s episode as we discuss this topic…

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Often, when our children are agitated, irritable, or aggressive, we can default to a traditional mindset when it comes to their behavior. We mistake trauma-induced behaviors for selfishness, belligerence, and disobedience. But this comes out of a lack of understanding as to how a child with a trauma history can be triggered. Sights, smells, sounds, activity, and more can cause a child to escalate without us even knowing it. In this latest episode of The Honestly Adoption podcast, we not only walk through the signs of triggered behavior, but also how to respond. Listen to the episode now

In this episode we discuss

  • Our children can appear disobedient because their behaviors can escalate quickly.
  • Before we react, we must take a step back and remind ourselves where this is coming from.

What are we talking about?

  • The child who uses the “always” and “never” statements
  • Displays of anger and frustration that may not make sense
  • Sights, smells, certain seasons, or areas that can cause a child to become triggered.
  • The triggers can come from something that happened years ago

How do we respond? 

  • Remember- their present behavior is a window into past trauma
  • Respond- calm and firm
  • Connection before correction- ask “how can I help you” as opposed to “what’s wrong with you?”

Question: What did you learn from this latest episode of the podcast? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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