What #BlackLivesMatter Means To A White Mom.

We’re a multi-racial family of 10. The events of these past few weeks have shaken us to the core. They’ve prompted fear in our children and left us broken and on edge as their parents. This is what #BlackLivesMatter means to me…

Screen Shot 2016-07-16 at 6.17.30 AM

I want to go back.

This picture was taken on a trip to Disney World in. Our youngest daughter was just about to turn 3. The only thing she loved more than Cinderella’s castle was her daddy. He had just raced through the streets of the theme park toward the castle with his little girls clasped in each arm. “The princesses are arriving!” He shouted. They giggled with glee and I trailed behind with our son in the stroller. I rolled my eyes at the absurdity of it but I couldn’t stop laughing. His happiness was in his daughters’ delight. He would bring them the world to make them smile. His joy poured from him and reflected in their faces.

How Will Understanding My Child’s Trauma Help Me As A Parent?

We have said this repeatedly over the past 5 years. When you gain an understanding of how trauma has changed your child, your entire parenting journey will change. Here’s why…

I will never forget the moment my mind was fully opened to the reality of what our children have experienced and why they do and say the things they do at times. It was Christmastime, six years ago. On a cold December night, something triggered our child, who has a trauma history. We were popping popcorn, pulling out blankets, and settling down in our family room for a family movie night. For reasons that remain a mystery, he wasn’t having any of it.

How To Translate Your Child’s Behavior

The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Season 18, Episode 141

This week we’re in Part 2 of our new podcast series, Believing Beyond The Behavior, and we’re talking about how to translate your child’s behavior.

You may have taken a double-take when you read that title. Translate my child’s behavior? What does that mean? The fact is, when you’re caring for a child with a trauma history, you should never take their extreme behaviors at face-value. Why? Well, behavior is a by-product of something bigger going on with them. When we pull back the curtain and get behind the facade of bad behavior, we discover a whole different story. Listen to the episode for more…

How Can I Empower My Child To Process The Good Parts Of Their Story?

Celebration seems like a normal part of our humanity, but for children who have experienced great loss, the ability to celebrate isn’t a given. How can we empower our children to process the good parts of their story?

 Have you ever met a person who seems to sabotage every good thing? Do you know someone who avoids family gatherings, such as Thanksgiving or Christmas? How about someone who always seems to see the glass half empty? The child who cannot seem to relax and have a good time may simply not know how.

How To Begin Believing In More

The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Season 18, Episode 140

There’s more happening with your child than just bad behavior. In fact, there are reasons why he or she behaves the way they do. But before we can make sense of this, we must lay the foundation for believing in more.

It begins with a different mindset. You cannot take your child’s behavior at face-value. Because of his or her trauma history, there present behaviors are often the expression of an unmet need, a fear, or an anxiety. But this present behavior does not determine their future. How do you begin to believe there is more than what you are experiencing right now? Listen to the episode…

Introducing: Believing Beyond The Behavior

The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Season 18, Episode 139

Your child’s behavior is routinely agitated, anxious, aggressive, violent, or impulsive. And you’re exhausted. You don’t know how you can make it one more day. But you must. How do you keep going? Our new podcast series will walk you through this and so much more…

Next Thursday, May 14th, we are kicking off a brand new 6 week podcast series all about believing beyond the behavior. Through this series we’re going to help you gain new perspective on your child’s behavior, plus the tools to parent differently. Listen in now to learn more…

How An Adoptee’s Experience Has Impacted Her Journey As An Adoptive Parent

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 18, Episode 138

We’re officially kicking off Season 18 of the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and we’ve invited a very special guest to help us do this. Melissa Corkum is an adult adoptee, advocate, and parent coach. You’re going to love her story!

We believe there’s no greater resource for foster and adoptive parents than former foster youth, or adult adoptees. Melissa Corkum is an adult adoptee living in Baltimore, Maryland. But along with being an adoptee, she’s also an adoptive mother. Her experience as an adoptee has had a profound influence on her journey as an adoptive parent. On today’s episode, she shares the joys, sorrow, struggles, and celebrations of her personal story. Listen to the episode…

How To Follow A Safety Plan In Public Without Embarrassment

Following a safety plan in your home is fairly cut and dry. You establish the plan, you follow the plan, and often the plan is discussed openly amongst you and your children. But that changes when you’re in public. How do you continue to follow your plan and not embarrass your children?

This may seem like a moot subject during this current landscape of life. At some point, however, we’re going to return to normal and begin interacting with others outside of our home. When that time comes, you will have to hold up the safety plan you created to keep your children, and other children safe. But how do we do that and not face embarrassment?