I had a ton of things to do.
By a ton, I mean, a MOUNTAIN of chores to get accomplished and it was already 9pm. We had been running like crazy that entire day with work, babysitting, soccer practice, football practice, cleaning our house, grocery shopping, homework, ballet class, yard work, shampooing the dog, shampooing the kid….etc. etc. etc.
I was fighting with my 9-year old son over getting into bed and ending the on-going charade of him coming out and asking me questions like “Dad, when is wake up time tomorrow?” or “Dad, I just need to use the bathroom for the 400th time!” when I heard the faint voice of my 11-year old daughter,
“Dad, could you come and tuck me in?”
She was waiting patiently in her room for me to come in, pull the covers up tightly to her chin, pray with her and then turn off the light. Moments later I walked into her room with a sigh and plopped down on the bed next to her. She glanced up and smiled. I smiled back. Then, I gave her a kiss and prepared to routinely pray when she began to speak…about her day…about soccer practice…about the coach trying her at goalie instead of midfielder…about how being a goalie really wasn’t her thing…about how school was going…about who she sits with at lunch…about everything in her 11-year old world that was important to her.
Honestly (because the word ‘Confession’ is in the title of this blog)- the urge arose in me to shut it down, kiss her goodnight, pray over her, and get out of that room so I could get back to the business of doing chores!
But then, as if a voice spoke directly to my heart in her dimly lit room, I heard these words- “She’s growing up, don’t miss this!”
I’ve failed at this a thousand times in the past! But on this night, I submitted to what I heard. I stayed. I sat. I listened. I smiled. I conversed with her. And when I walked out of her room sometime later and turned off the light, I felt as though I had taken advantage of a precious and fleeting moment. My heart was overflowing.
Truth is, she’ll be all grown up in a just a few years. I don’t have as much time as I think. I might sound paranoid but I’ve determined that if staying on edge about her growing up and being gone from home forever and me regretting not taking advantage of every single moment with her that I’m given, then I’ll take paranoia.
I don’t want to miss this!
Question: How is your connection to your children right now? (If you’re anything like me, you need work). What struggles have you had with this lately?
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