Mike Berry has a new book! We invite you to read about it here.
Believe it or not, you are the greatest voice of influence in your child’s life. You’re not the only voice, but you are the greatest! How do you leverage this to build a lifelong relationship with your child? Here’s the answer…
My new book, Winning The Heart Of Your Child: 9 Keys To Establishing A Positive Lifelong Relationship With Your Kids debuts today and I thought I’d take a moment to share a little more about the 9 central keys I share in the book. After nearly 2 decades of working with parents and families, I’m convinced these 9 keys are the answer to maximizing your influence in your child’s life and establishing the healthiest relationship possible.
Will it disrupt their lives? What about birth order? Will it take away from time our kids are owed by us? Is this going to make our kids feel pushed to the side? If you have had these, or other concerns, for your biological kids when it comes to stepping into foster care, you are not alone!
This week we are wrapping up Season 9 of The Honestly Adoption Podcast. Be sure to listen in as Mike talks with Jason Johnson, author of Reframing Foster Care: Filtering Your Foster Parenting Journey through the Lens of the Gospel. Jason shares honestly about the fears, and will encourage you to reframe how you think about how foster care might affect your biological children.
The day came. I knew it would. Just didn’t know when or what the age would be or what circumstances would bring it up. Even though I knew it would eventually come, it didn’t make it hurt any less.
He was my first baby and has been my son since he was 3 months old. We’ve had our ups and downs. Some quite painful. The diagnoses. The therapy. The raging tantrums. The many broken things. The IEP meetings. The side talks with teachers.
This is a guest post by our good friend, Natalie Brenner, who has also been a guest on our podcast, The Honestly Adoption Podcast. She is an adoptive and biological mother, as well as a blogger, and the author of the book This Undeserved Life
. Make sure you check out her blog by clicking here
Many adoptive parents are also the parents of biological children. But there is no difference, or degree, in the love they have for all of their children, adopted or bio. Here’s why…
“I just have to ask… do you love Sage as much as you love Ira? I mean, I know you say that you do…but I’m just so curious if it’s true.”
We sat on my living room floor when she asked me this. With a world of confidence and pride in my chest I was able to nod, and beam, and let her know that I absolutely love Sage as much as I love Ira.
We spend so much of this journey fighting for our children, and helping them fight through the trauma they’ve endured, that we rarely take time to process it ourselves. That’s why a simple question, recently asked of me, has me thinking…
This past weekend we attended a discussion group in a small coffee house in a neighboring town to ours. The topics ranged from pain, to overcoming grief, to God, to suffering in the world, to personal struggles. And then the facilitator asked us a question that we’ve rarely been asked over our 15-year adoptive journey: “How do YOU process and work through your child’s trauma?”
Over the past several months, we’ve received many messages from folks who say, “I’m not called to be a foster parent, but I’m called to help in some way. How do I did that?”
According to the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, there are over 397,000 children in the foster care system right now. There are simply not enough qualified homes to care for all these children. Our hearts should be moved to compassion. We cannot sit idly by while even one child goes without a home. We know we must do something, but what? Should everyone be a foster family? The short answer is, no. Should everyone do something? Without a doubt, the answer is a resounding yes!
One of the most frequent questions we hear from people who are considering foster care is, “I’m just afraid that….” We understand because we’ve been in that trench. But for different reasons than you might expect.
We had already grown accustomed to judgment, stare downs, and the typical passive-aggressive comments. Heck, in our first 2 years of foster parenting alone, we received our fair-share. Par for the course as far as we were concerned. We had long since moved past the fear of that. In a weird sort-of-way we embraced it as normal.
In previous posts on foster care we’ve talked about the trauma children who enter our care can experience due to the difficult situations they’ve come from. This is a real battle. For everyone involved. Nearly every foster parent has dealt with this, or will deal with this. But there’s another form of trauma that often occurs, and often goes unnoticed. It’s the trauma your biological children, or children who are permanently a part of your family, may go through as the result of a placement.
We were having a conversation with a real estate agent when the reality of this hit us. He found out that we were adoptive and former foster parents, so he took the time to share his personal story. Growing up, his parents took in several children through foster care, mostly during his teen years. “That was the problem,” he said. “It was traumatic for me. I was dealing with the ups and downs of being a teenager and then I watched my parents deal with exhaustion and stress over some of the placements they received. It took a toll on our family.”