We’re excited to introduce our brand new series called Tea With Teens. Created entirely by adoptees and biological siblings, this new series gives fresh answers to some of the biggest questions parents have about their children. Check it out…
Our beautiful daughters and their friends spill the beans on everything adoption from their perspective! In this first episode they answer a viewer’s question, “Do you like celebrating your adoption day?” Got a question you’d love to have them answer on the show. Click below to submit it to us….
And why you’re at it, make sure you subscribe to our YouTube Channel. We are in the process of creating a bunch of new amazing content in addition to Tea With Teens!
Click Here To Subscribe To Our Channel!
“One of the reasons Christmas is hard is because of our own personal grief and loss issues.”
Coupled with the losses and grief our children may be experiencing, foster and adoptive families can quickly find themselves wondering just how they will survive this season between Halloween and New Year’s Day!
Today we will be kicking off our new podcast series: Holiday Survival Tips and Tricks! We will spend the next four weeks interviewing amazing therapists about how we can navigate the big emotions and hard moments, with our kids, that tend to rise up during the holiday season. Mike and Kristin are excited to kick off this series with therapist and adoptive dad, Lynn Owens, as they discuss how we can help our children process disappointment and loss.
Woo Hoo! Fall 2017 enrollment is open now at Oasis Community! In celebration, we are excited to share another one of our favorite Oasis “Backstage Pass” interviews from this past year.
An adoptee herself, Sherrie Eldridge has a passion for helping adoptive parents understand, and respond empathetically to, the unique emotional needs of their children. You will be encouraged as Sherrie shares her story with Mike, and reflects on the journey she has taken to get where she is today.
*Editor’s Note- This is a guest post by our good friend Lisa Qualls. She is a writer, speaker, mom of 12, and the creator of One Thankful Mom
, where she writes about motherhood, adoption, faith, and grief. Lisa is a mom by birth and adoption. Along with her husband Russ, their adoption journey has been marked by joy as well as challenges of trauma and attachment. You can visit her blog here
, and connect with her on Facebook here
Out of all the twists, turns, triumphs, and defeats that are often a part of the foster care journey, there are beautiful blessings in disguise when you least expect it.
You know what surprises me most – what I would never have expected? The relationship we have with my Zoe’s* family.
Last week Zoe’s mom had one of her regular weekly visits with Zoe and her sisters, but this time it was at our house. When I arrived to pick her up, she had ingredients for a meal packed in grocery bags, ready to cook for her kids when she got here. The little girls were dropped off by their foster mom and quickly ran outside to play with my son while their mom cooked and chatted with Zoe at the kitchen island.
We talk often about forming positive relationships with birth families. But what do you do when you can’t get past the anger you feel toward them?
If you know us, you know we are strong advocates for open adoption. We often write and speak in favor of open relationships with a child’s birth family. In our own family we have regular contact with biological parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and even brothers and sisters. We feel that if it is possible and safe to have an open relationship with a child’s birth family, you should.
It’s a question we’ve been asked quite often. We’ve even asked ourselves this question a time or two when we were still fostering. The answer is, yes! And here’s why…
“I gave up being a foster parent because I couldn’t stop getting attached to the children I cared for. Every time one of them left, it hurt. Figured it was best if I just stopped putting my heart out there like that. I always ended up sad and depressed.”
Her words echoed off the concrete pillars of the bus station we were sitting in. As passengers hustled past, her face fell solemn. I could tell she didn’t really mean the words she was saying to me. I could see the heartbreak in her eyes. But out of defense for her tender heart, she held her emotional wall in place. Her graying hairline, and wrinkles under her eyes, told a story void of words. Life had been hard on her. With every ounce of sadness she swallowed, with every emotion she forbid to show itself, regret silently burned a permanent spot on her face.
There’s often an assumption that since our children are adopted, or have been adopted from the foster care system, their birth mothers must be bad people, or have done some really bad stuff. The truth is, this is an unfair assumption to make about a human being.
We’ve often wondered how someone, who knows very little about our children, their story, or their birth mother’s story, can point a finger and judge. It’s not in our DNA to do this to any human being. Certainly not the person who gave our children life. We believe birth mom’s should never be vilified. Here are some big reasons why..
Does a closed adoption impact your child significantly? It’s a big question we’ve been asked often. But more importantly, how do you help them find their identity when they don’t have a relationship with their birth family?
The first time my daughter asked for her biological mom she was 2 years old. It was a rainy Thursday in February. We had visited our adoption agency that morning to pick up a gift that her birth mom sent through the mail. It was a doll and she immediately named it after her birth-mom. We left a gift for her birth-mother and were assured that the agency would send it on to her. After we safely buckled our pre-schooler into her car seat, we headed toward home. My husband and I were happily chatting in the front seat. That’s when our daughter started screaming from the backseat, “I want my MOMMY!” I turned around to see what was the matter. Nothing seemed amiss but her wailing increased. My heart broke for her and so I climbed over the center console, twisting my legs like pretzels to be near her. I leaned in close and put my hands on hers, “It’s ok. I’m right here.” She froze mid cry and clearly said, “Not you! My other mommy.”