How To Empower Your Children To Face Difficult Situations

In this world, our children will struggle, oftentimes more than typically developing children. How do we help them, or empower them, to face these difficult situations? Here are some tips…

Foster care and adoption are difficult. There will be hard parts to our child’s story. It is inevitable. Our children will see some things in their past as normal and others as difficult. It isn’t for us to decide which parts are difficult for our children. This is why it is so important that our children feel empowered to deal with the hard parts. Here are some things we can do to help:

What to do When Your Child Pushes You Away

This post is written by adoptive mom, Kristin who believes that when we understand our children better, we stop trying to change them and instead change ourselves.

 

When our child’s behavior becomes off-putting, or prickly, it’s often hard to remember that it’s an indication of something bigger going on with them. Remembering this, however, can change how we approach our children…

Blackberries are ripening in Indiana. The warm, rainy summer has left our crop of berries abundant. Behind our barn on the east side of our property the blackberry bushes grow wild, twisting and climbing, weaving their way over old tree stumps and hiding the fresh fruit behind tall weeds. I love to grab a large bowl from the kitchen and make my way behind the barn to pick the dark purple berries. I reach gingerly past the thorns delicately pulling the berries free from the vine. By the time I’m finished, the bowl is full, and I head to the kitchen to make dessert. My hands are stained purple and tiny scratches cover my arms, webbed reminders of the delicate and painful work of harvesting this sweet treat.

When You Still Have to Parent Adult Children

This is a guest post from Melissa Corkum. Melissa is a parent and wellness coach helping parents move from chaos to calm and confidence. She is an adult adoptee and married to Patrick. They live in Maryland and are parents to 6 kids by birth and adoption and soon-to-be grandparents. She writes at thecorkboardonline.com and is the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a resource site and podcast for adoptive and foster families.

It’s a reality that many of us on the adoption journey will face. We will be actively involved in hands on parenting with our adult children in ways most parents will not. How do you face this with hope and a plan?

There’s nothing magical about the age 18. Sure, there are some legal ramifications, but it doesn’t get us off the hook as parents.
Research shows that brains aren’t even fully developed until 25 or 30. For our kids who experienced trauma early in life, this may take even a few more years. I can feel you starting to hyperventilate. You’re probably imagining your child at 30, on your basement sofa, surrounded by Doritos bags, eyes glazed over from 20 straight hours of video games.

Take a few deep breaths.

As with all other parenting, the sweet spot for parenting adult children needs high structure along with high nurture. There needs to be healthy boundaries in place, but also compassion that kids from trauma may need extra support and time to launch into a more independent life.

How To Build A Positive Lifelong Relationship With Your Children

Season 12, Episode 101- The Honestly Adoption Podcast

In this brand new episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, our amazing producer, Matt McCarrick, chats with Mike about his brand new book, Winning The Heart Of Your Child, how to be an influence in your child’s life, why your kids sometimes seem like they aren’t listening at all, and some of the hardest stories he told in the new book!

Parenting is far from easy. In fact, it can take the life out of you at times. But it’s beautiful and amazing, in-spite of the frustrations. Believe it or not, you are the greatest voice of influence in your child’s life. You’re just not the only voice of influence. In this episode, Mike and our producer Matt cover a lot of ground when it comes to building a positive lifelong relationship with your children. Listen in now…

The 9 Keys To Massive Influence In Your Child’s Life

Mike Berry has a new book! We invite you to read about it here.

Believe it or not, you are the greatest voice of influence in your child’s life. You’re not the only voice, but you are the greatest! How do you leverage this to build a lifelong relationship with your child? Here’s the answer…

My new book, Winning The Heart Of Your Child: 9 Keys To Establishing A Positive Lifelong Relationship With Your Kids debuts today and I thought I’d take a moment to share a little more about the 9 central keys I share in the book. After nearly 2 decades of working with parents and families, I’m convinced these 9 keys are the answer to maximizing your influence in your child’s life and establishing the healthiest relationship possible.

Love Is There, Even If You Don’t Always Feel It!

Sometimes it’s hard to feel a genuine connection with our children. Especially if we have a lot of difficulties with them often. But trust that love is there. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

It’s no secret that some types of people are easier to love. It’s no secret that some types of people are hard to love. It’s not a secret that some types of kids are easier to love. There are even some types of kids who are SUPER HARD to love. The BIG secret however, is that sometimes they are your very own children. Even if they are biological. Sometimes connections are just easier with some than others. 

How Do I Know If I’m Called To Adopt?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 11, Episode 96

“How do I know if I’m called to do this?” It’s a common question, even for people who have already adopted, and are thinking about going on the journey again. On this week’s podcast episode (and Season 11 debut), Mike and Kristin talk to author and speaker, Alison England about how to know if you’re called to adopt.

If you think about it, it wasn’t that long ago that you were asking this very question, and pacing the floor, looking to the heavens, wondering what the right answer was. Alison England has been there. She is an adoptive mom and the award-winning author of Tandem: A Devotional for Adopting with God in the Lead. Alison and her husband, Joel, have been together since college and have three children. She cofounded Momentum Adoptions, a licensed adoption agency and is a professor at Arizona State University. Alison’s passion to encourage adoptive parents extends through her Tandem ministry, including Alison’s blog and speaking engagements. Listen in to today’s episode…

How Do I Stop My Child From Causing Disregulation Among Siblings?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast- Season 10, Episode 93

The disastrous car rides, the grocery store trips that abruptly end in fights, the movie nights that turn into tears. What do you do when one of your children continually causes all your children to be disregulated? How do you stop them? On today’s episode of the podcast, we’re answering this big question…

This one resonates deeply with us. We’ve stood helplessly by and watched all of our other children, who are just trying to ride to church, or school, in peace, move into a complete emotional tailspin because one of our children cannot keep their hands, or comments, to themselves. And the day is completely ruined! Ever been there? When we’re talking about children from past trauma, we’re also talking about impulsive and often frustrating behavior. Oftentimes, they can’t even help it.

But that’s not fair to your other children! How do you stop this from happening, or at least better manage it when it does? Listen in as we answer this question…

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