Sometimes we find powerful applications for life in the strangest places. Like an airplane. Where we’ve gained a simple, obvious, yet profound illustration for self care!
Kristin and I fly a lot. In fact, recently, we were flying so much that we literally swapped out with one another at the airport. I pulled up with all of our kids buckled into the car, Kristin had just landed from Denver, Colorado so she got into the car, and I got out with my suitcase and headed in to board a plane to New York City.
Adoption and foster care can be filled with loneliness, desperation, and defeat. We know you love your kids, but it’s hard when you have to walk through your child’s past trauma with them. Can you really find hope in-spite of this? The answer is, yes. It starts by understanding something powerful and true.
“I don’t think I can take one more day of this,” I said, glaring at the table, with a clinched fist and gritting teeth. My friend agreed. Many colorful words were exchanged between us, that morning, as we sat talking in a restaurant. The steam from our coffee snaked and twisted through the air, disappearing, as if hope was slowly disappearing with it. We shared similar wounds. Both of us had children adopted from foster care and both of us were in very dark and desperate situations. We both loved our kids deeply, but recognized that, out of their trauma, they behaved in certain ways and it caused our exhaustion to abound.
You’ll often hear us say that self-care isn’t selfish, and self-care isn’t hard. In fact, it’s quite simple. Our community manager, Michelle McKinney (who went to college for fitness), and is now on the adoption journey, breaks it down for us…
It’s January. You might be saying, “Ugh.” Or you might be saying, “Praise Jesus!” All depends on what happened the previous year to either give you hope for moving on or angst of the inevitable. For adoptive parents, it’s probably both. We feel hope because our kids are older and maturing. But then there’s the fact that they are older and maturing…bringing bigger, more life-altering consequences. If you’re like me, because of the above struggle, I rarely if ever make the common New Year’s resolutions. Honestly, I don’t have time for that silliness. I only have time to survive is what I usually think.
This is a debut post by Jennifer Summers, who serves as Content Creator for The Honestly Adoption Podcast and Oasis Community within Confessions Of An Adoptive Parent. We are thrilled to share this post with you.
It’s a question all of us, on the foster or adoptive journey, have asked a time or two. Especially when things are tough at home, and our kiddos are struggling. But the real answer to this question may surprise you.
It depends on what you’re really asking. Are you asking if I feel like it is worth it or if I KNOW it is worth it?
Do you want the raw and honest truth? You’d be scared if you saw it. If you saw the actual mess. Not the “oh, this messy journey…hahaha, (insert winky emoticon) mess.” I’m talking about the actual, nasty mess that this journey often is: The mess I know all about, from living it for the last 10, long years. The mess I hear all about, when other adoptive mamas feel safe enough to share with me the reality of what hell they are going through.
As we mentioned last Thursday, for the next 4 weeks, leading up to our re-launch of the podcast (with the brand new name of The Honestly Adoption Podcast
) we’re sharing some of our favorite past episodes as a special #tbt! Also- you can now visit the brand new landing page for Honestly Adoption by clicking here
Welcome to the very first season, and the very first episode of our parenting podcast, Honestly Speaking. This has been a long time in the making and we are finally launching. You can’t begin to imagine how excited we are. Our hope is that this, along with our regular content, enriches your life immensely!
We’re starting off with a big question- “Can you really find rest on the weary road of parenting?” If you’re an adoptive, foster or special needs parent, this is an especially big question. Really, it’s one that every parent, in any walk of life, has pondered a time or two.
Yawning, yawning, and more yawning. If that describes you, we want you to know- You’re not alone! There’s a way to find rest and it’s not as difficult as you think it is.
The year was 2004 and we were the parents of a 2 year old. We had adopted her at birth, she was healthy and happy, and almost like clockwork, she began to sleep through the night at 3 months old. “This parenting gig is easy,” we thought. Boy were we in for a rude awakening (literally).
When we first started down the foster and adoptive road, we were energized and excited. But exhaustion quickly kicked in and left us defeated. We soon wondered: Will we ever find our way back to a place of rest?
I remember staring at our newborn daughter, who was screaming at the top of her lungs at 3am, and begging her to fall back asleep. Of course, being a newborn, she wasn’t listening to me. I yawned one of those out-of-control yawns. I hadn’t seen that hour of the night since college. I soon realized this was just the beginning.
It’s not unusual for parents to find themselves in over their heads. This is especially true for foster and adoptive parents. We’re constantly on overload. But how do you know when enough is enough, and it’s time to change direction?
I remember the summer of 2008 like it was yesterday. It was one of the best summers we had ever experienced as a family. But it was also one of the worst. Hot, adventurous, muggy, defeating, joy-filled, tiring, fun and overwhelming all mixed into one. We were burning the wick at both ends. Life was beyond crazy.