We are so blessed to have our friend, Lisa Qualls, from One Thankful Mom, here today to share with us some of the hardest parts of her story. Hear what she has learned about finding Hope within the grief of losing a child, both as a birth mom and later as an adoptive mom.
Lisa has a unique and varied perspective as both a birth mom, a mom of many, and adoptive and foster mom. She has suffered and learned through many years of parenting children from hard places, including having a child in residential care for a season and has also suffered the sudden loss of a child in a tragic accident. Listen in as Lisa shares with real, raw, honesty and offers empathetic understanding for anyone experiencing great suffering.
Sometimes, as foster and adoptive parents, we’re pushed over the edge and we lose our cool with our children. How do you pick up the pieces and move forward after you’ve failed your children?
It started with a disrespectful look, or so I thought. I had asked my 13-year old daughter to do something she knew was her responsibility and the face she made when I asked her for the 4th time, angered me. It quickly escalated into something greater and it was my fault. Sure, she made the face at me, talked disrespectfully, but it didn’t warrant the hurtful words, or angry outburst that came from me.
Fourteen years ago, when we started the adoption journey, we quickly learned the difference between appropriate and inappropriate questions to ask adoptive parents, and how to respond to a misunderstanding world.
I remember the first time someone used improper terminology in front of me. I was standing in our church lobby, holding my newborn daughter in my arms, and a well-intentioned elderly gentlemen asked if we were going to have any children of our own some day. I smiled and politely replied, “We’re not sure what the future holds but we may have children biologically. We’ll just have to see.”