There’s more happening with your child than just bad behavior. In fact, there are reasons why he or she behaves the way they do. But before we can make sense of this, we must lay the foundation for believing in more.
It begins with a different mindset. You cannot take your child’s behavior at face-value. Because of his or her trauma history, there present behaviors are often the expression of an unmet need, a fear, or an anxiety. But this present behavior does not determine their future. How do you begin to believe there is more than what you are experiencing right now? Listen to the episode…
If you’ve wondered this as you’ve battled your child for days upon days, or found yourself so frustrated you could scream, you’re not alone. But there’s a truth you need to know.
I know you. I see you. I am you.
I know what’s going through your mind on any given day. I know what you whisper as you recover from an 8-hour battle with your kid, or walk out of an IEP meeting defeated because there’s no sign of progress. Trust me. I know. If you looked at an X-ray of my heart it wouldn’t look like the perfectly formed plastic model you’d see on the corner of a doctor’s desk. It’s been broken so many times over my child, it’s deformed and morphed, like lava flow into ocean waters morphing into new land.
We believe in foster and adoptive parents. While you may never be applauded, nor recognized, what you are doing has a profound impact on the world.
It took a long time for us to believe in our story. More than a decade, in fact. We couldn’t figure out how anything good could come out of all the wounds we had sustained as parents, not to mention the trauma our children had gone through. It seemed our circumstances were never going to change. We often asked ourselves…”Is there any way to find hope in the middle of this?”
*Editor’s Note- We are taking a brief hiatus from The Honestly Speaking Parenting Podcast
this week. Join us next Wednesday for a brand new episode.
A while ago we had a few emails from folks asking us to write about the good aspects of adoption, and why we love it so much. This is one of the easiest posts I’ve ever written!
I find my spot on our front porch, just above the driveway, on a mild weekday morning in the spring. It’s a school day and, for once, my two sons are ready for school 30 minutes before the bus arrives. “Dad, can we ride our bikes before the bus comes?” my second oldest shouts from the backyard. “Sure you can, buddy,” I reply. Before I can complete my normal instructions of “Stay away from the street,” or, “Don’t ride into the cars,” they’re off and running!
Most human beings want to change the world. But where do you begin? In a culture packed with get-rich schemes, overnight YouTube sensations, and more, world-change gets convoluted. In today’s podcast we talk about what it really means to change the world.
He was supposed to bounce from foster home to foster home until someone hopefully adopted him. At least, that was the plan. It didn’t hold much of a promise though. There were a lot of infants, lots of children waiting to be adopted in Western Maryland at the time. The story changed for him when a 17-year old girl with a big heart for children, and a longing to be a parent, walked through the door. He had found his forever home.
Is there anyway to truly have a happy marriage? I believe there is. It’s found in the simple act of serving your spouse. There are some big rewards when you do this.
In past posts and articles on marriage I have been quite frank- a healthy marriage comes from intentionally choosing to serve your spouse and put his or her needs above your own. I make no apologies about this, nor do I add anything to it, such as an exception or disclaimer.