So much of the adoption journey is surrounded by trauma, loss, and grief. Many times friends, family, or church members will say things that seem to make it even worse. Is loss and trauma really “just a part of God’s plan?” Is getting over grief simply a matter of “trusting God more?”
Listen in to Natalie’s encouraging story as she and her husband listened and learned about finding wholeness and joy through some hard years of infertility, miscarriage, loss, and grief, as well as adoption, virtual twining, and special needs parenting.
The lonely, and often, defeating road of parenting children with disorders like FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) or attachment issues can cause a person to shake their fist at heaven and ask “Why?” We know this because we’ve been there.
Her email dripped with desperation. As I read each line I could feel her defeat, sense her anguish, and understand her anger. According to her, I was her last resort. She was parenting a child with FASD, and it was taking the life out of her. Her son’s decision-making, logic, sense of self, and care for others was missing all-together. All I could think was, “I’ve been there sister. You are not alone.”
*Editor’s Note- This is a guest post by our good friend Lisa Qualls. She is a writer, speaker, mom of 12, and the creator of Thankful Moms
, where she writes about motherhood, adoption, faith, and grief. Lisa is a mom by birth and adoption. Along with her husband Russ, their adoption journey has been marked by joy as well as challenges of trauma and attachment. You can visit her blog here
, and connect with her on Facebook here
Sometimes the adoption journey can leave us questioning our ability as parents. But the trials may lead to personal growth that we never thought was possible.
I was pouring a cup of coffee when my friend called. She asked if I had a minute to talk and when I answered, “Yes,” her resolve quickly faded and she began to cry. She told me about a conflict with her newly adopted son. Despite her best intentions, she was convinced she had failed to handle it well.