How Do Pastors Find Help When They’re Supposed To Be Helping?

This was supposed to be a post from Kristin about taking better care of yourself while caring for children from hard places. But then I read the story of the recent suicide of California Pastor Andrew Stoecklein, after battling with depression. So I decided to talk openly and honestly about the struggle of being a pastor.

I’ve been there. 

This thought bounced around in my mind in the early morning hours, like words echoing off of canyon walls, as I read the heart-crushing story of how Pastor Andrew Stoecklein’s life ended this past weekend. In the darkness of my bedroom, I wiped tears from my eyes as I thought about his wife and young sons now trying to figure out how to live life without their husband and daddy. I read how he struggled with depression, and anxiety and I identified perfectly.

How A Devastating Experience Gave Me A New Life Purpose

One year ago today, I was suddenly fired from my job at a church. The experience was devastating and embarrassing. But one year later, I’m living a bigger purpose than I could have imagined.

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Numb. That’s the word I would use to describe the feeling I felt when my supervisor looked at me and said, “We’re releasing you from student ministry.”

Actually, numb communicates a feeling. I had none. No expression on my face either. After the HR Director finished his spiel about what I had to sign, what I had to agree to, and what I had to leave behind, I shook their hands, and quietly walked out of the office we were meeting in. In my right hand were severance papers. Never in a million years would I have dreamed I would carry severance papers!

Why I’m Late To Church Again!

When you have children with special needs, everyday is an adventure. Sometimes, the adventure is exciting. Other days, it’s frustrating. Simple things that most people take for granted, like walking into a church, are an uphill climb. We personally climbed this hill for years before making progress. We’re still climbing in many regards. The biggest question we’ve wrestled with is, how do you function while making sure your children’s needs are fully met? This is a post by Kristin, who has lived on the front lines of our children’s special needs.

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Today I’m embarking on a battle. I know I look a little frazzled. I truly did put make-up on …two hours ago. It takes at least an hour to coax my newly adopted son from the house to the car. The quick stop at the Dunkin Donuts drive-through was a special treat for me even though I knew it would put us even more behind.

We roll into the church parking lot and I begin winding in and out among rows of neatly parked cars. There has to be a space a little closer I think. I’ll never make it from the back of the parking lot. Who am I kidding? We haven’t actually made it into the church in 7 weeks. I see one but I’m too late. I’ve got to squeeze the 12 passenger van in somewhere. Finally I see the spot and make my way there. My 18 month old has already started his protest.

“NONONONONONONONO” he whimpers, “too loud.”