Why You Should Never Bad Mouth Your Child’s First Family

This post is written by Kristin, Kristin is an adoptive mom, an adoptive big sister, an adoptive aunt, and the granddaughter of two adoptees.

It can be a difficult thing to not do, at times, because your child’s storyline may not be very positive. But it’s critical that we never bad mouth our child’s first family. Here’s why…

My mom taught me not to talk about people behind their back. I appreciate that lesson. It was something that she and my dad not only taught us but something they also modeled.

You Were Right!

They’re not easy words to speak. In fact, they hurt at times. However, they’re extremely healthy for our well-being, and the very words our marriage and our children may need to hear!


Ugh! Even as I type those words I taste their bitterness! I guess you could say I have a little trouble admitting when I’m wrong. I’ve always been a bit stubborn. (Insert the sigh of my mother right here.) That stubbornness has served me well in so many areas of life.

As a kid, peer pressure was not much of an issue. Just try to force me to do something, the claws will come out. Now that I’m a parent, try to harm one of my children and you’ll see the momma bear fangs glisten. As an advocate for children with special needs, I will not give up until we have a solution! As a wife…this is where it gets a bit tricky. I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a “right-fighter.” Fighting to get the last word in at the expense of the man I love, just isn’t all that satisfying.