We spend so much of this journey fighting for our children, and helping them fight through the trauma they’ve endured, that we rarely take time to process it ourselves. That’s why a simple question, recently asked of me, has me thinking…
This past weekend we attended a discussion group in a small coffee house in a neighboring town to ours. The topics ranged from pain, to overcoming grief, to God, to suffering in the world, to personal struggles. And then the facilitator asked us a question that we’ve rarely been asked over our 15-year adoptive journey: “How do YOU process and work through your child’s trauma?”
When you’re a foster or adoptive parent, you simply can’t walk into any pediatrician or therapist’s office and expect them to understand your child, or your family dynamic. So, how do you find the right provider?
Her words were gold (at least to us). “Well, I’m not sure if the behavior you’re seeing could be triggered by specific ingredients in foods and medicines, but, I’ll find out.” I’ll find out. She might as well have said, I’m on your side no matter what. To a couple of parents who had become accustomed to having doors slammed in our face (both figurative and literal), when we brought up the idea that our child’s disorder and the ingredients in foods may be a bad combination, this was a beam of light in the dark.