This post is written by adoptive mom, Kristin.
The children we care for may need to spend time every week seeing a therapist to help them process their trauma history. This is a good thing. However, it begs the question…what about you? The caregiver? What if you need therapy to? How do you find this?
I believe deeply in the importance of therapy for children who have experienced trauma. My children have had some of the most amazing counselors over the years who have gone out of their way to support not only my children but my entire family.
We work hard to connect to our children, because connection is the most important thing we can do on the foster and adoptive journey. But what happens when you have honestly exhausted all of your resources, and you realize you legitimately cannot care for your child anymore?
It’s an unpopular route on the adoptive journey: relinquishment. However, in some situations, it’s a reality. Certainly, not something a parent should rush into when the journey becomes difficult. A healthy connection, lifelong bond, and deep trust are always the end-goal and the overall target for parents who have adopted children from trauma. But in some extreme cases, it is healthier for both children and parents to part ways. Carrie O’Toole joins our show today to discuss this topic and offer wisdom and her best advice on this subject. Listen in now…
On this week’s episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we’re kicking off a brand new season entitled “I Have A Question.” We asked you to send us your biggest questions and we received a ton of great feedback. Today Mike and Kristin begin with “How Do I Help My Child Who Doesn’t Have Services?”
Communicate, communicate, communicate! That’s really what it comes down to when you’re talking about a child you’re caring for who doesn’t need, or have, special services like an IEP (Individualized Education Plan), therapy, special medical services, a behavior plan, or more.
Attachment disorder is one of the hardest, loneliest, and defeating aspects of parenting children from traumatic pasts. If you’re anything like us, you struggle to not take the words and actions of your child personally. So, how do you find light at the end of a very dark and long tunnel?
It IS personal. That’s the trouble with Attachment disorder. It is the opposite of the parental connectedness that we all desire with our children. Children attach through constantly having their needs met. When this attachment doesn’t happen during a child’s first few years, it can take a lifetime to recover the loss. As adoptive parents this is where we find ourselves with many of our children.