The Boy We Said Yes To.

The adoption journey can bring about immense blessings that you never saw coming and never expected to experience. But sometimes the blessings come in unexpected ways.

We​ ​woke​ ​up​ ​with​ ​an​ ​anxious​ ​heart.

A​ ​15-year​ ​old​ ​boy​ ​was​ ​aging​ ​out​ ​of​ ​the​ ​system​ ​in​ ​the​ ​coming​ ​months.​ ​Aging​ ​out​ ​means​ ​he would​ ​soon​ ​be​ ​too​ ​old​ ​to​ ​be​ ​adopted.​ ​As​ ​if​ ​a​ ​16-year​ ​old​ ​doesn’t​ ​need​ ​a​ ​family​ ​anymore!​ ​He would​ ​be​ ​on​ ​his​ ​own.​ ​Forever.​ ​Most​ ​likely​ ​to​ ​be​ ​homeless,​ ​partake​ ​in​ ​illegal​ ​activity​ ​to​ ​survive, imprisoned,​ ​be​ ​trafficked​ ​and/or​ ​succumb​ ​to​ ​an​ ​early​ ​death.

He​ ​was​ ​brought​ ​to​ ​our​ ​attention​ ​by​ ​our​ ​agency​ ​who​ ​asked​ ​previous​ ​international​ ​adoptive families​ ​to​ ​advocate​ ​for​ ​him.​ ​So​ ​I​ ​did.​ ​I​ ​posted​ ​his​ ​brief​ ​profile​ ​on​ ​Facebook​ ​in​ ​hopes​ ​that someone​ ​would​ ​adopt​ ​him.​ ​Quickly.​ ​Boys​ ​are​ ​hard​ ​to​ ​place.​ ​Fifteen​ ​soon​ ​to​ ​be​ ​16-year​ ​old​ ​boys​ ​are impossible​ ​to​ ​place.

As​ ​quickly​ ​as​ ​I​ ​posted​ ​it,​ ​I​ ​thought,​ ​“Why​ ​not​ ​us?”

And​ ​then​ ​my​ ​husband​ ​said,​ ​“Why​ ​not​ ​us?”

I​ ​sat​ ​down​ ​with​ ​Google​ ​Translate​ ​and​ ​did​ ​my​ ​best​ ​to​ ​stumble​ ​through​ ​the​ ​pages​ ​of​ ​his​ ​file. I’m​ ​kinda​ ​good​ ​at​ ​this​ ​adoption​ ​process/paper​ ​trail​ ​thing.​ ​I​ ​work​ ​fast.​ ​I​ ​don’t​ ​give​ ​up.​ ​In​ ​fact,​ ​I’m rather​ ​demanding​ ​on​ ​all​ ​parties​ ​involved.​ ​It’s​ ​the​ ​once-​I-get-them​-​home​ ​part​ ​I’m​ ​not​ ​so​ ​good​ ​at.

But​ ​there​ ​are​ ​many​ ​more​ ​reasons​ ​to​ ​the​ ​why​ ​not​ ​us.​ ​Our​ ​oldest​ ​is​ ​10.​ ​We’d​ ​be​ ​breaking​ ​a​ ​​BIG rule:​ ​Don’t​ ​adopt​ ​out​ ​of​ ​birth​ ​order.​ ​It​ ​causes​ ​all​ ​kinds​ ​of​ ​trouble​ ​for​ ​everyone​ ​because​ ​someone is​ ​being​ ​displaced​ ​in​ ​the​ ​hierarchy​ ​of​ ​the​ ​family.​ ​Some​ ​countries​ ​are​ ​against​ ​it.​ ​Some​ ​agencies are​ ​against​ ​it.​ ​Some​ ​will​ ​make​ ​exceptions.​ ​Some​ ​will​ ​not.​ ​Some​ ​families​ ​are​ ​crazy​ ​enough​ ​to​ ​do it.​ ​Most​ ​are​ ​not.

It’s​ ​not​ ​safe​ ​for​ ​our​ ​younger​ ​kids.​ ​Who​ ​knows​ ​what​ ​an​ ​older​ ​child​ ​has​ ​been​ ​exposed​ ​to​ ​and therefore​ ​is​ ​capable​ ​of.​ ​The​ ​unthinkable​ ​and​ ​unspeakable​ ​does​ ​happen.

We’re​ ​KINDA​ ​finally​ ​settled.​ ​Kinda.​ ​So​ ​really?

The​ ​money.​ ​The​ ​least​ ​of​ ​our​ ​concerns.​ ​We’ve​ ​NEVER​ ​had​ ​the​ ​money.​ ​But​ ​it​ ​always​ ​came.​ ​It’s part​ ​of​ ​our​ ​faith​ ​testimony.​ ​But​ ​would​ ​it​ come​ ​​THIS​​ ​time?

But​ ​we’re​ ​drawn​ ​to​ ​the​ ​impossible.​ ​It’s​ ​what​ ​God​ ​does​ ​best.​ ​So​ ​we​ ​made​ ​a​ ​phone​ ​call.​ ​And another.​ ​And​ ​another,​ ​and​ ​another.​ ​We​ ​had​ our​ ​home​ ​study​ ​agency​ ​who​ ​agreed​ ​to​ ​work​ ​fast. We​ ​had​ ​the​ ​money​ ​to​ ​pay​ ​for​ ​the​ ​home​ ​study.​ ​​Barely.​​ ​The​ ​first​ ​of​ ​many​ ​fees.​ ​I​ ​knew​ ​the​ ​rest​ ​of the​ ​tens​ ​of​ ​thousands​ ​would​ ​come​ somehow​ ​like​ ​it​ ​always​ ​has.​ ​And​ ​in​ ​a​ ​matter​ ​of​ ​2​ ​days,​ ​we planned​ ​to​ ​adopt​ ​him​ ​and​ ​make​ ​him​ ​our​ ​son.​ ​He​ ​would​ ​be​ ​home​ ​in​ ​the​ ​spring.

And​ ​then​ ​something​ ​​MIRACULOUS​​ ​happened!​ ​Three​ ​families​ ​came​ ​forward.​ ​To​ ​adopt​ ​an​ ​almost16-year​ ​old boy!​​ ​So the​ ​agency​ ​had​ ​to​ ​choose.​ ​So​ ​strange.​ ​If​ ​only​ ​every​ ​child​ ​had​ ​this​ ​problem of​ ​families​ ​fighting​ ​for​ ​them.

We​ ​were​ ​told​ ​the​ ​decision​ ​would​ ​be​ ​made​ ​by​ ​Friday.​ ​Plans​ ​were​ ​being​ ​made.​ ​I​ ​thought​ ​about plans​ ​for​ ​him​ ​for​ ​school.​ ​And​ ​language​ ​acquisition​ ​for​ ​all​ ​of​ ​us.​ ​We​ ​told​ ​the​ ​boys​ ​to​ ​prepare them.​ ​We​ ​prayed​ ​for​ ​him​ ​to​ ​have​ ​a​ ​family…whichever​ ​one​ ​it​ ​would​ ​be.

Even​ ​this​ ​child​ ​didn’t​ ​know​ ​what​ ​all​ ​was​ ​going​ ​on​ ​to​ ​make​ ​him​ ​part​ ​of​ ​a​ ​family.​ ​Crazy!​ ​A​ ​boy​ ​in​ ​a faraway​ ​place​ ​has​ ​no​ ​idea​ ​how​ ​wanted​ ​he​ ​is.​ ​And​ ​he​ ​won’t​ ​know​ ​until​ ​the​ ​official​ ​match​ ​has been​ ​made​ ​which​ ​wouldn’t​ ​happen​ ​for​ ​months.​ ​Days​ ​before​ ​his​ ​birthday.

How​ ​beautiful​ ​is​ ​that?

That’s​ ​how​ ​adoption​ ​works.​ ​

I​ ​tried​ ​to​ ​prepare​ ​myself​ ​all​ ​day.​ ​We​ ​tried​ ​to​ ​encourage​ ​one​ ​another​ ​that​ ​no​ ​matter​ ​what happened,​ ​our​ ​yes​ ​was​ ​still​ ​obedience.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​reminded​ ​of​ ​Abraham’s​ ​sacrifice in the Old Testament.​ ​I​ ​questioned,​ ​“But didn’t​ ​God​ ​already​ ​know​ ​what​ ​Abraham​ ​would​ ​do?”​ ​Abraham’s​ ​test​ ​was​ ​to​ ​grow​ ​his​ ​own​ ​faith, not​ ​prove​ ​anything​ ​to​ ​God.

My​ ​husband​ ​sent​ ​this​ ​to​ ​me:

I​ ​know​ ​it​ ​could​ ​be​ ​disappointing​ ​if​ ​we​ ​are​ ​not​ ​chosen.​ ​But​ ​I​ ​want​ ​to​ ​celebrate​ ​how​ ​we​ ​are​ ​living and​ ​trying​ ​to​ ​be​ ​obedient/faithful…even​ ​if​ ​we​ ​are​ ​not​ ​the​ ​family.

During​ ​the​ ​day​ ​I​ ​got​ ​a​ ​disturbing​ ​text​ ​about​ ​another​ ​child.​ ​So​ ​disturbing.​ ​Oh​ ​the​ ​pain​ ​of​ ​not having​ ​a​ ​family​ ​to​ ​call​ ​your​ ​own​ ​and​ ​to​ ​not​ ​have​ ​a​ ​father’s​ ​protection!

My​ ​heart​ ​grew​ ​heavier.

And​ ​then​ ​another​ ​disturbing​ ​message​ ​about​ ​a​ ​court​ ​ruling.​ ​Oh​ ​the​ ​pain​ ​of​ ​a​ ​child​ ​trapped​ ​in​ ​a broken​ ​system!

Still​ ​heavier.

The​ ​longer​ ​the​ ​day​ ​got​ ​the​ ​more​ ​I​ ​tried​ ​to​ ​prepare​ ​my​ ​heart.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​in​ ​deep.​ ​We​ ​both​ ​were.​ ​Two-thirty rolled​ ​around.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​4:30​ ​where​ ​the​ ​call​ ​we​ ​had​ ​been​ ​waiting​ ​on​ ​would​ ​come​ ​from.​ ​Almost​ ​the end​ ​of​ ​the​ ​work​ ​day​ ​and​ ​week.​ ​So​ ​I​ ​sent​ ​an​ ​email.

“Please​ ​just​ ​tell​ ​us​ ​before​ ​the​ ​weekend​ ​comes.​ ​It’s​ ​killing​ ​us.”

And​ ​minutes​ ​later​ ​the​ ​call​ ​came.​ ​He​ ​would​ ​not​ ​be​ ​our​ ​son.

I​ ​cried.​ ​We​ ​both​ ​did.

He​ ​got​ ​a​ ​family!!!​ ​A​ ​child​ ​has​ ​a​ ​family.​ ​My​ ​mantra​ ​to​ ​myself​ ​to​ ​still​ ​my​ ​heart​ ​was,​ ​”We’re​ ​healthy. We’re​ ​safe.​ ​He​ ​got​ ​a​ ​family.​ ​We’re​ ​healthy.​ ​We’re​ ​safe.​ ​He​ ​got​ ​a​ ​family.”

But​ ​our​ ​hearts​ ​were​ ​broken.

Why​ ​did​ ​it​ ​hurt?

I​ ​tried​ ​all​ ​day​ ​to​ ​figure​ ​out,​ ​if​ ​the​ ​goal​ ​was​ ​for​ ​him​ ​to​ ​have​ ​a​ ​family​ ​and​ ​a​ ​week​ ​ago​ ​he​ ​didn’t even​ ​exist​ ​to​ ​us,​ ​why​ ​did​ ​it​ ​hurt​ ​so​ ​much?​ ​It’s​ ​not​ ​like​ ​we​ ​didn’t​ ​have​ ​kids.​ ​​Four​​ ​to​ ​be​ ​exact.​ ​It’s​ not like​ ​it​ ​was​ ​going​ ​to​ ​be​ ​easy​ ​to​ ​have​ ​a​ ​teenage​ ​son​ ​when​ ​we​ ​knew​ ​nothing​ ​of​ ​teenagers.​ ​It’s​ ​not like​ ​our​ ​older​ ​boys​ ​were​ ​ecstatic​ ​about​ ​this​ ​decision​ ​mom​ ​and​ ​dad​ ​were​ ​making.

I​ ​woke​ ​up​ ​Saturday​ ​and​ ​knew​ ​why.​ ​We​ ​were​ ​going​ ​to​ ​miss​ ​out​ ​on​ ​a​ ​​BLESSING​.​ ​He​ ​would​ ​have blessed​ ​our​ ​life.​ ​I​ ​knew​ ​it.​ ​Because​ ​that’s​ ​how​ ​adoption​ ​works.​ ​It’s​ ​a​ ​blessing.

This​ ​was​ ​not​ ​about​ ​what​ ​was​ ​or​ ​was​ ​not​ ​meant​ ​to​ ​be.​ ​Our​ ​hearts​ ​went​ ​somewhere​ ​we​ ​never thought​ ​we​ ​were​ ​capable​ ​of.​ ​We​ ​said​ ​yes.​ ​Our​ ​yes​ ​was​ ​not​ ​wasted.​ ​Our​ ​faith​ ​is​ ​​BIGGER​.

163,000,000​ ​-​ ​4​ ​blessings.​ ​And​ ​counting.

Question: Have you been on the roller coaster ride that adoption sometimes can be? Share your story with us in the comment section below. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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