The Must-Have Characteristics Of A Strong Support System [Podcast]

Season 1, Episode 8- The Honestly Speaking Parenting Podcast

We’ve often been asked how we made it through 9 years of foster parenting and 14 years as adoptive parents. Our answer is simple: We have a great support system of people who help keep us going. But how do you find a support system like this?


“You’re going to be alright…this is going to be alright,” our friend said to us. “I know it feels like a dead-end street but there’s hope. I’m here for you!”

She was right. More importantly, she was there. Those were two things we were certain of. In our darkest moment on the journey, she looked at us with eyes of compassion, a spirit that understood, and a gentle smile that said “I get it.” We found the strength we needed to get up and keep moving.

It was the support we needed on this journey. And it’s the precise reason we are so passionate about building strong support systems. On today’s episode we talk openly about the great value in having a support system that holds you up.

Listen To The Podcast.


Notes and Quotes From The Show.

Adoption and foster care are very long and lonely roads to travel at times. They can take the life out of you and leave you completely defeated. You can’t do this alone. This is a value we’ve recognized over the years. It’s the precise reason we’ve become very proactive in building a strong support system. But it doesn’t include everyone. During the show we talked about 4 characteristics that people in your support system must possess in order for

  1. Get it. Our closest friends, who share life with us, get us. They understand why we adopted and what the major trials are like. They get it because they’re in it with us.
  2. Do not judge. We don’t like judgmental people in the first place, but our friends would never judge anything about us, or any dark moment we go through. Let’s be honest- who needs to be judged anyway?
  3. In the trenches. It always makes it easier to have people on your side who are also in the trenches of foster care and adoption. There’s a unique perspective when you are living the same lifestyle.
  4. Point. Our support system points us to healthier places, healthier ways of thinking, healthier pathways. We know that through our struggles and trials we will come out of them better people because the people who are walking with us, point us to healthier destinations.

Resources and Links.

We have been talking about this a lot but it’s only because we believe in this event so much. The Refresh Conference is the premier event for foster and adoptive parents to come and find rejuvenation and rest. You simply can’t miss it.

We also mentioned doing a simple Google search in your area for foster and/or adoption support groups, resources, and outlets that can help you on the journey. We can’t recommend doing this enough. Yes, the internet is filled with garbage (even when it comes to finding support), but it’s also filled with lots of good information. It may take some time to find it, but there are great resources for foster and adoptive parents.

DID YOU KNOW… right now we are running a contest to win one of three FREE tickets to The Refresh Conference in 2016. You could win a free ticket and t-shirt, a free ticket plus pre-conference workshop, or the whole enchilada: a free ticket, t-shirt, AND pre-conference workshop! You must hurry though…the contest ends on December 23rd! We’ll draw 3 lucky winners and announce them on December 24th. Click here to enter the contest!

Question: Have you found a group of people like the one we talk about in the show? What has been the greatest benefit from having one? You can leave a comment by clicking here.


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