Understanding The Invisible Special Needs Of Adoption

The Honestly Adoption Podcast - Season 9, Episode 84

Maybe your child(ren) don’t have a noticeable special need or an official diagnosis and you’ve been wondering if you are just crazy, or if anyone else understands.  When it looks “normal” to everyone outside of the home, the day to day frustrations of dealing with invisible special needs can make foster and adoptive parents feel isolated and judged by those who just don’t get it.

This month, Mike is interviewing Jamie Worley, adoption blogger at seejamieblog.com, which was one of Healthline.com’s 2018 Best Adoption Blogs. Jamie is passionate about encouraging other adoptive families and helping to educate those considering foster care and adoption.  Don’t miss this opportunity to be encouraged with some practical steps and words of hope in understanding and dealing with the invisible special needs of adoption.

Listen Now:

Notes and Quotes:

What drives you?  What is your passion in sharing about adoption?

Back in 2009 before our first adoption, we thought we were prepared:  we read books and blogs, we went to all the trainings…that journey into adopting a teenager was a ride…it had challenges we didn’t anticipate. As we have lived the journey, I want to encourage people to consider adoption…and for people to understand it isn’t going to be all rainbows and butterflies, and to be equipped.

As an adoptive mom, I just have to have some people {in my real life} that I can just “bleh” on.

That’s hard when they think you’re a hero.

We are not all called to adopt, but we can all have a part in it.

Let’s talk about the Invisible Special Needs in Adoption:

There were a lot of little things, of ways their early years have affected them.

We’d been so focused on our kids who do display a special need, we had missed what was going on with another of our kids who had some unmet needs.

Nobody outside of the home sees what we see all the time.

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Practical Steps for Living with these Invisible Special Needs:
  • Read, listen, and learn about it.
  • Have some people in your life with whom you can vent
  • Have some people in your life who can be a sounding board and offer resources.
  • Give yourself grace.
  • Look at it practically and get a bigger picture view
  • Keep a journal to look back on so you can see the progress made.
Last words of hope for struggling parents?

Realize it won’t always be this hard.  If you are looking at the day to day it seems like it is too much.  Remember in the big scheme of things, it won’t always go on like this.  Sometimes our expectations need to be adjusted.  We aren’t heros, BUT we are making a difference.  The fact that it bothers you means that you are trying…and that’s huge.

Resources and Links:

Get to know Jamie

Is Every Person called to Adopt?

The Invisible Special Needs in Adoption

Self-Care Guide

Question: Are you dealing with unseen special needs? Have you struggled to get others to understand? We would love to hear from you! You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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