Why Do We Wait Until Valentine’s Day?

Yesterday morning I was at Kroger early, picking up some groceries, when I noticed a string of men picking up bouquets of flowers and chocolates for, what I’m assuming was, their significant others. It was 5 o’clock in the morning. Nothing like getting ahead, I thought to myself. As I left the store, the thought occurred to me- “Why do we wait until this day to express our love for one another?”


My wife and I have never gotten into Valentine’s Day. At least not in the buying one another gifts, or a dozen red roses, sort of way. We’ve gone out on dates and hit up some fancy restaurants over the years, but nothing too elaborate.

In fact, one of our greatest bonding moments as a couple, when we had just begun dating, was to engage in a battle with a fellow college student over the absurdity of making one day out of the year, Valentine’s Day, the day to show affection to someone special in our lives.

We stood together. Our approach was simple: don’t wait until one day out of the year to express your affection for one another. Do it all year long! We were such typical college students, always looking for a cause to jump on and rant about… 🙂

However, we still hold to this (with much less rant, and more logical thinking) in many regards, 16 years later.

Here’s a big question: Why do we spend 364 days out of the year racing through life, sprinting to the next appointment on our schedule, throwing fast food at our kids as we speed to their after-school activities, and waving to one another like ships passing in the night, until this one day, Valentine’s Day, when we intentionally set aside time to be with, and purchase gifts for, the people we love?

When I walked out of the store yesterday, this hit me personally? I promise I wasn’t being critical of others or even cynical toward the holiday itself. I took a moment to ask myself this question. I found more fingers pointing back at me than fingers pointing at anyone else.

If I’ve committed my life to love and hold this human being, shouldn’t I show my affection and commitment to her all year long instead of just one day? Shouldn’t I pour my life out to the people I’ve promised to love forever the other 364 days of the year?

I have nothing against Valentine’s Day and I am certainly not criticizing anyone who buys chocolates or flowers for their significant other on this day. I’m just questioning our intentions (mine more than anyone), the other days of the year. If I’m going to be intentionally affectionate and loving on one day, shouldn’t I be intentionally loving and affectionate all the others? I need to do a better job at this personally.

This is a call for all of us to choose love all year long. Love the ones in your life- your wife, your husband, your children- deeply and wholly and unconditionally everyday you are blessed to have with them. By all means, make a reservation at a restaurant or buy flowers for your love on Valentine’s Day. But surprise them on another, more random day, with the same display of affection and appreciation as well.

Wake up early on Valentine’s Day and clean the kitchen or make breakfast, for sure! That’s pretty awesome and shows a great deal of servanthood. But do this other days during the year as well. Choose to serve your husband or wife like this all year long.

Question: What are your thoughts on this? I’d love to hear from you. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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