“My Child Doesn’t Live At Home And I Don’t Feel Guilty!”

We know the feeling. More importantly, we know the wrestling match you’re in because you don’t feel the guilt you think you’re supposed to feel. But, this honest admission doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent.

Young man suffering for depression

He prefaced the statement with, “I’m ashamed to admit this.” Then he paused, took a deep breath, lowered his head, and finally released it…. “My son doesn’t live at home right now, and I don’t feel guilty about that. In fact…” he paused again, choking back a reservoir of emotion building behind his eyes, “I love the peace that we feel without him here. I’ve waited so long for it.” I placed my arm on his shoulder empathetically. “I know,” I said, looking him in the eyes.

We are excited to be speaking at the 2017 Refreshed Family Camp this coming summer at Warm Beach Camp in Stanwood, Washington. Click here to learn about Refreshed Family Camp.

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Date: July 30, 2017—August 2, 2017
Event: Refreshed Family Camp
Location: Stanwood, Washington
Public: Public
Registration: Click here to register.
More Info: Click here for more information.

Mike will be speaking at the Wisconsin Foster and Adoptive Parent Conference on April 8th in Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin. WFAPA is a peer and volunteer-based organization that supports and advocates for foster and adoptive parents.

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Date: April 8, 2017
Event: 2017 Wisconsin Foster And Adoptive Parent Conference
Location: Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin
Public: Public
Registration: Click here to register.
More Info: Click here for more information.

How Can I Find Hope When My Life Is Collapsing Around Me?

Season 4, Episode 37- The Honestly Speaking Parenting Podcast

Hope. There’s barely another word in the english language that evokes as much emotion as this one. Either you have it, or you don’t. The question is, is there any way to find it when your life is falling apart?

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I used to think that I would find hope AFTER I escaped the difficult life circumstances I found myself in. AFTER my child stopped flipping out. AFTER his disorder and behavior held everyone else prisoner. AFTER my daughter moved past her attachment issues and started bonding in a healthy way with our family. AFTER we moved past the season of making long drives down to a visitation center. I became so fixated on the “some day,” that I failed to see the possibility for hope in the here and now. But I’ve learned that you can find hope in the here and now. You can find it in the middle of the wreckage of life. That’s our topic on today’s episode…

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How To Overcome The Voice That Keeps Whispering Lies To You.

Not a day goes by where I don’t hear it and almost believe it. It’s that voice that whispers and reminds me of all the awful things I wonder about myself, and this journey as an adoptive and foster parent. But there’s a few truths I’ve discovered about this voice.

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You heard it, didn’t you? I’m willing to bet, the moment you opened your eyes this morning, it whispered. Heck, it may have even infiltrated your dreams. Like a thief entering your house undetected, it slithered it’s way into your bedroom and poured itself right into your ear. It whispered to you before you even moved your body from beneath your covers. I know you heard it because I heard it too…

Got A Few Minutes To Spare? Take Our 2017 Reader Survey!

We are always striving to make Confessions Of An Adoptive Parent a better blog that helps you on your journey. That’s why we greatly value your opinion and feedback. Could you help us out by filling out our 2017 reader survey?

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I’d love to help! Take me to the survey.

Two-thousand-sixteen was an amazing year with many new milestones and accomplishments. We traveled to more than 30 states around the country speaking to foster and adoptive parenting groups, our podcast, Honestly Speaking averaged over 4000 downloads a month, and our monthly readership grew from 50,000 to more than 100,000 readers a month. By November we received news that we now had readers in more than 25 countries around the globe. Hundreds of thousands of awesome foster and adoptive parents have found community through Confessions and we couldn’t be more grateful. But we’re far from the finish line. We want to make 2017 even better than 2016 for our audience!

Could you help us accomplish this? Your opinion and feedback matter. Click the button below and take our reader survey…

I’d love to help! Take me to the survey.

Thanks in advance for your feedback and readership. We are grateful for each and everyone of you!

My Daughter Has Her Birth Mother’s Eyes.

Yesterday we took our daughter to meet her birth mother for the first time in her (almost) 15 years of life. We were all nervous, anxious, and excited. But I had no idea I would be moved to tears.

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The wind was whipping down the corridors of buildings along 16th street in downtown Indianapolis. Although the sun was shining bright, it was cold. A typical late December day in Indiana. I eased the car into a spot across the street from the vintage coffee shop we were meeting in, turned the ignition off, and turned to look at my daughter sitting quietly in the back seat. She smiled at me. Kristin suggested we pray before going in, and so we did.

How To Better Communicate With Wounded Children.

*Editor’s note- This is a guest post from our good friend Jennie Owens. She and her husband Lynn, support foster and adoptive families through their nonprofit organization, www.foreverhomes.org. Jennie also speaks to parenting groups and leads retreats for foster and adoptive families. She provides training and one-on-one coaching services to parents through their clinic, Canyon Lakes Family Counseling, in Kennewick, WA. You can also visit her blog here.

When parenting children from hard places, or children who have been wounded emotionally, it’s often hard to communicate with them. This is frustrating for us as parents, but there is a solution.

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“Will you play a game with me?” our son asked.

My blood began to boil. This was the tenth time in 30 minutes he had asked. I was getting tired of redirecting, and I knew from past experience it wouldn’t be the last time he’d ask. It felt like this young boy was trying to control our every moment. Not long afterward he asked again. “Will you play a game with me?”