A few years ago, Mike and Kristin realized that they needed community and resources as they continued their adoptive and foster journey. Seeing that other foster and adoptive parents were in that same boat with them led to the development of Confessions of an Adoptive Parent and The Honestly Adoption Podcast. Last April, they launched Oasis Community, an online community full of resources and support, exclusively for foster and adoptive parents.
Today, Mike and Kristin want to introduce you to the people who make Oasis happen and bring encouragement to weary parents worldwide: Karen Anderson, Jen Summers, Beaver Trumble, and Matt McCarrick. Karen, Jen, and Beaver are all adoptive and foster parents, who are part of the Oasis Care Team (the people who are available online for support and encouragement), and Matt oversees content editing, emails, and publishing details. Listen in to discover what they believe makes Oasis so special!
Almost 2 decades ago, we first discussed adoption and I resisted. Thankfully, my heart changed. Today, I’m a better person because of adoption. Here’s why…
I awake early on a Monday morning to begin my typical weekday routine in my household. Quick workout at our local gym, buzz home quickly while I chug water, arrive home and wake kids up, head to the kitchen to make lunches, simultaneously start breakfast, give a check to backpacks, gently remind my kids to get up again, warm the car up for carpool, consider pouring ice cold water over the stragglers who are still sleeping, then kiss the heads of the ones who have made it downstairs in relatively good time.
Woo Hoo! Fall 2017 enrollment is open now at Oasis Community! In celebration, we are excited to share another one of our favorite Oasis “Backstage Pass” interviews from this past year.
An adoptee herself, Sherrie Eldridge has a passion for helping adoptive parents understand, and respond empathetically to, the unique emotional needs of their children. You will be encouraged as Sherrie shares her story with Mike, and reflects on the journey she has taken to get where she is today.
“I have both adopted and biological kids and I find my bio kids often get lost in the shuffle of everything we deal with as an adoptive family. How do we support them and stay connected to them?”
We get this question ALL the time. Usually I’m thinking, “Hmmm good question, I don’t have any bio kids so I don’t know how to answer that.” Next, I’ll think, “I should really meet someone who has bio kids and ask them this question.” Then I say to myself, “Better yet, I should find a bio kid who was raised in an adoptive family and then I’ll ask the question.” This weekend my mom and I went to an adoption conference together and I kept introducing her and by saying, “This is my mom, she’s an adoptive mom too!”
“It was only three days, but it was life-changing.”
-adoptive dad and 2017 Road Trip attendee
Can just three days truly be life-changing? Find out as Mike reminisces with Andrew Schneidler and Jason Morris about this year’s amazing Road Trip for foster and adoptive dads. What makes this event unique and unlike anything you’ve ever experienced? Listen now to find out!
The holidays can be a difficult season for children in foster care. It’s also an emotional time for the parents caring for them. But if this isn’t you, there’s still so much you can do that’s helpful. Here are some ideas on how others can serve families like ours during the holidays. Feel free to share this post with them. That’s why we wrote it…. 🙂
It was a chilly winter afternoon shortly following Thanksgiving. The nights were getting longer and the days chillier. My family was decorating the tree, drinking vegan egg-nog (yes, that is a real thing) and rocking to our Christmas playlist. The doorbell rang and six of my eight children ran to answer it. Stumbling over each other and laughing, they nearly fell into the door. Mike and I hollered from the other room, “Wait before you open it!” We scooped up our 3-year-old and went to see who our surprise visitor might be. I flipped on the front porch light and unlocked the door to see a family standing on our front step holding a brightly wrapped gift. Mentally I checked through my calendar. Oh no, this must be the family delivering the gift from my son’s biological father. I had completely forgotten. I extended my hand toward the mom and greeted her, welcoming her inside. She was friendly but seemed to feel uncomfortable. The dad shook our hands as well and their three teens smiled awkwardly at my kids.
Why don’t traditional parenting methods work with children who have experienced trauma? Have you ever used physical punishment, verbal reprimand, loss of privilege, or isolation with your children? Don’t worry, we have too! Many of us grew up with these “traditional” methods and it can be a struggle to adjust the deeply ingrained patterns of thinking, and give up this type of parenting.
This week on The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we are excited to share with you one of our exclusive “Backstage Pass” interviews from Oasis Community, our support and resource site for adoptive and foster parents. In this interview, Mike gets honest with Ryan North as they discuss parenting methods better suited for children from trauma. Believe us, you will not want to miss this interview!
Many of our children have come from significant trauma and that often prevents them from logical thinking. This can be frustrating, even maddening at times. Our temptation is to shame or lecture. But there’s a better way…
My kid had been caught red-handed. On camera, but also by the evidence spilling out of his bedroom. Literally…spilling out of his bedroom. If someone had rounded the corner and punched us square in the face, we would have been less shocked. And you better believe we saw red. Not only were we angry, but embarrassed, ashamed, and bewildered. This was not acceptable at all.