We are living in a world that, for the most part, drastically misunderstands the ‘why’ behind adoption. This can often bring on unwanted praise and adoration from outsiders. How do you handle this when the point of adoption is not to receive accolades?
On a sunny spring morning in April, 2002 we walked into church for the first time after bringing our firstborn daughter home from the hospital. Through sleep depravation and absolutely no clue what we were doing, we held our baby girl close as we opened the door and stepped into the foyer. You would have thought the Pope had come to town. They almost had to start the church service late because everyone had gathered around us to get a glimpse of this precious gift we held in our arms. I stood behind Kristin and she cradled our sweet girl close to her chest.
Your child will always have first family. And as much as possible, we believe you should work to formulate a solid relationship with them. After all, they gave your child life. But what if there’s a possibility this will hurt your child in the long run?
It’s a valid question: “Will visiting with birth parents, or having a relationship with them, hurt my child in the long run?” We understand where this comes from. But we also know that oftentimes, birth parents get a bad rep thanks to current news media, and unwarranted or unfounded fear. There are situations that are not healthy, yes, that’s true. But, before you make a final decision on whether or not it’s healthy to be in relationship, Mike and Kristin have some advice on how to connect in the healthiest way possible…
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As parents, one of our jobs is to allow our children to make their own decisions, when they’re old enough. But what do you do when you realize you need to step in and make decisions for them? How do you know when it’s time to protect them from themselves?
I remember hearing an old preacher, a long time ago, talk about granting our kids responsibility when they grew older. “We must arrive to the place in our parenting, and when our children are old enough, where we allow them to stand on their own two feet,” he said, through a crackly voice.
The disastrous car rides, the grocery store trips that abruptly end in fights, the movie nights that turn into tears. What do you do when one of your children continually causes all your children to be disregulated? How do you stop them? On today’s episode of the podcast, we’re answering this big question…
This one resonates deeply with us. We’ve stood helplessly by and watched all of our other children, who are just trying to ride to church, or school, in peace, move into a complete emotional tailspin because one of our children cannot keep their hands, or comments, to themselves. And the day is completely ruined! Ever been there? When we’re talking about children from past trauma, we’re also talking about impulsive and often frustrating behavior. Oftentimes, they can’t even help it.
But that’s not fair to your other children! How do you stop this from happening, or at least better manage it when it does? Listen in as we answer this question…
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Fear is a powerful emotion. We know what it feels like to be afraid of something, but we often gloss over the way fear controls our lives and most importantly, our children’s lives.
Everyone said it would happen. I didn’t believe them. Not that I would be gone too soon or anything. Just thought I’d have a life-long hover between my 20s and 30s. Yet surprise, surprise, I hit the 40s. And what they said would happen…did.
They are two hot topic words that can either bring a smile to a person’s face, or make them grimace. Marriage and money! But they are both intimately connected and they both matter significantly. In this week’s episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, you’ll discover why…
Not that long ago, Brian and Cherie Lowe found themselves in $127,000 debt and on the brink of watching their marriage crumble. But then, after hard work, re-commitment to one another, and a belief in hope, they paid off every dime. Cherie tells their entire story through her 2015 book, Slaying The Debt Dragon. Now, through their new book, Your Money, Your Marriage, they are helping couples understand the intimate connection between financial freedom and intimacy. Check out today’s show to hear more:
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This is a guest post by author and therapist Ron Nydam (PhD). Ron specializes in helping adoptive family’s develop and connect in a healthy, positive way. His latest book, Wise Adoptive Parenting
, helps families better connect to their children, and adoptees feel heard and understood. You can pick up your very own copy by clicking here
Through all of the trauma education, and attachment strategies we can learn (and certainly benefit from), our connection with our children still comes down to one factor: relationship!
Many parents who are new to the adoption journey wonder what it takes to make good things happen in the development of their children. They may wonder day after day how to find a way to be effective with their children who frustrate their first attempts at helping them manage his or her behavior. Parenting quickly becomes a guessing game as to what might work and might not work when a child’s behavior is out of control, or over the rails in terms of everyday family life.
On this week’s episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we’re continuing our special series called “I Have A Question,” with a great question about how to better help our kiddos focus.
It’s a struggle that many foster and adoptive parents have with their children. How to help them focus? This is mostly spotlighted with things like homework, chores, and daily routine. And it can be extremely frustrating on a daily basis. In this episode, hosts Mike and Kristin Berry walk listeners through 5 key strategies that can change everything for you and your children.
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